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更新時間：2024-04-11 16:45
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一對兒殺手，肯與雷（Colin Farrell 飾），在圣誕期間來到比利時古城布魯日，他們將在這里接到聯(lián)系人哈里（Ralph Fiennes 飾）指令的新任務(wù)。雷在不久前的一次暗殺中誤殺了一名男童，懷著深深愧疚的雷情緒不穩(wěn)，古城中的等待對他來說是一場難耐的煎熬。肯作為帶領(lǐng)雷入行的前輩，試圖幫助雷擺脫困境，但他的努力毫無收效。百無聊賴的雷在街上結(jié)識了女演員克洛伊，這個神秘女孩引發(fā)了雷一系列的冒險經(jīng)歷，與此同時，肯再一次被哈里催促，原來此次任務(wù)的真相是暴怒的哈里要雷為他的誤殺行為付出代價，肯面對被自己一手引入殺手行當?shù)哪贻p人，難以做出抉擇，兩名殺手，在夜色中的古城各懷心事……
長篇影評
1 ) 所有中年男都應(yīng)該看的電影
這是我在豆瓣記錄的第一千部電影，因此遲遲沒有看，就是想挑部好的。這個晚上，想了很久，選了一部看著像商業(yè)片（中文翻譯是《殺手沒有假期》，好像一部跟《趕盡殺絕》一樣的猛片），但前陣子看個片頭就覺得很沉悶的電影，《IN BRUGES》——個人直覺這片子有戲。
果然，耐著性子看完開頭三十分鐘的緩慢和悠長之后（其實也沒覺得難捱，因為配樂是相當?shù)煤寐牐?，這部片子讓我欲罷不能，一直到末了，才悵然地嘆口氣。
因為我說不出是好笑還是悲傷，在整個播放過程中，我不停地在發(fā)笑和難過之間蕩來蕩去。
怎么說呢，不劇透了，說說它的好處吧：
1.如此正宗如此濃郁的黑色幽默——英倫三島很很干巴巴又很機靈的黑色幽默——這是推薦中年男的原因之一——在我們的幽默感慢慢被生活沉淀為無趣的時候，此時我們已經(jīng)不大稀罕少年那種不夠含蓄的搞笑滑稽，而需要一種洞察式的譏誚。無數(shù)個場景，拎出來就是絕好的冷笑話，我相信不久就會有本片的經(jīng)典臺詞語錄。
2.很MAN的電影——這是推薦中年男的原因之二——在我們的男人味逐漸磨平成世故的時候，算是給我們殘存的燈里添點油，提醒我們依然可以豪氣干云，雖然體型已經(jīng)失控。三個男人的故事，三個沒有發(fā)達的肱二頭肌腹肌胸肌叉腰肌的男人：一個不安靜的年輕仔，一個大腹便便的中年男；一個好像得了甲亢的中年男——他們都很MAN。對于一部殺手片來說，這些都太合適不過了……哦，還有一個很堅持原則的胖子文物保護單位管理員，他也很MAN，雖然挨了頓胖揍。
3.非常好聽的配樂——這是推薦中年男的原因之三——品位，品位啊。適合一個潮濕陰暗古老偏僻的比利時小鎮(zhèn)的鋼琴聲，憂郁而溫柔，配上電影里三個又搞笑又讓人起敬的殺手，很好很強大。
4.天衣無縫的劇本——這是推薦中年男的原因之四——智慧啊，一腦門子都是智慧。啥叫無巧不成書，得巧得自然，不露痕跡。每個邂逅的線索都是伏筆，到最后一起涌現(xiàn)出來，讓人恍然大悟。
5.很浪漫的電影——這是推薦中年男的原因之五——一見鐘情的浪漫，過命交情的浪漫，殺手和殺手之間的惺惺相惜，中年人對年輕人的愛護希望，無一不浪漫頭頂，給我們?nèi)諠u平庸的生活一點夢幻色彩。
6.這個我拿不準是否適合中年男——有N多哈利波特里出現(xiàn)的演員……其實也是適合的，因為這些演員都是演技派，對于喜歡看門道的中年男來說，是一部過癮的戲，一舉一動無不帶著精彩。
7.服裝——歐式的古典的平整的熨帖的，怎么穿怎么好看，無論男女，無論老少，這算是企圖講究的中年男另一個不大不小的傾心點吧。
總之，各位超過35歲的WS男們，這部電影強烈推薦你們收藏。
另外，由于中年WS男往往是女文青的克星，因此這部電影也適合企圖掌握中年男人復(fù)雜微妙心理的女文青。
果然，耐著性子看完開頭三十分鐘的緩慢和悠長之后（其實也沒覺得難捱，因為配樂是相當?shù)煤寐牐?，這部片子讓我欲罷不能，一直到末了，才悵然地嘆口氣。
因為我說不出是好笑還是悲傷，在整個播放過程中，我不停地在發(fā)笑和難過之間蕩來蕩去。
怎么說呢，不劇透了，說說它的好處吧：
1.如此正宗如此濃郁的黑色幽默——英倫三島很很干巴巴又很機靈的黑色幽默——這是推薦中年男的原因之一——在我們的幽默感慢慢被生活沉淀為無趣的時候，此時我們已經(jīng)不大稀罕少年那種不夠含蓄的搞笑滑稽，而需要一種洞察式的譏誚。無數(shù)個場景，拎出來就是絕好的冷笑話，我相信不久就會有本片的經(jīng)典臺詞語錄。
2.很MAN的電影——這是推薦中年男的原因之二——在我們的男人味逐漸磨平成世故的時候，算是給我們殘存的燈里添點油，提醒我們依然可以豪氣干云，雖然體型已經(jīng)失控。三個男人的故事，三個沒有發(fā)達的肱二頭肌腹肌胸肌叉腰肌的男人：一個不安靜的年輕仔，一個大腹便便的中年男；一個好像得了甲亢的中年男——他們都很MAN。對于一部殺手片來說，這些都太合適不過了……哦，還有一個很堅持原則的胖子文物保護單位管理員，他也很MAN，雖然挨了頓胖揍。
3.非常好聽的配樂——這是推薦中年男的原因之三——品位，品位啊。適合一個潮濕陰暗古老偏僻的比利時小鎮(zhèn)的鋼琴聲，憂郁而溫柔，配上電影里三個又搞笑又讓人起敬的殺手，很好很強大。
4.天衣無縫的劇本——這是推薦中年男的原因之四——智慧啊，一腦門子都是智慧。啥叫無巧不成書，得巧得自然，不露痕跡。每個邂逅的線索都是伏筆，到最后一起涌現(xiàn)出來，讓人恍然大悟。
5.很浪漫的電影——這是推薦中年男的原因之五——一見鐘情的浪漫，過命交情的浪漫，殺手和殺手之間的惺惺相惜，中年人對年輕人的愛護希望，無一不浪漫頭頂，給我們?nèi)諠u平庸的生活一點夢幻色彩。
6.這個我拿不準是否適合中年男——有N多哈利波特里出現(xiàn)的演員……其實也是適合的，因為這些演員都是演技派，對于喜歡看門道的中年男來說，是一部過癮的戲，一舉一動無不帶著精彩。
7.服裝——歐式的古典的平整的熨帖的，怎么穿怎么好看，無論男女，無論老少，這算是企圖講究的中年男另一個不大不小的傾心點吧。
總之，各位超過35歲的WS男們，這部電影強烈推薦你們收藏。
另外，由于中年WS男往往是女文青的克星，因此這部電影也適合企圖掌握中年男人復(fù)雜微妙心理的女文青。
2 ) In English。
我並不想隱瞞一開始我對這個片子是充滿叻不屑。
覺得好無聊。
比利時噠一個小城鎮(zhèn)和殺手能扯上甚麼關(guān)係。
也許是被美式警匪片薰陶噠看甚麼清淡噠片子都覺得沒味道。
但到最後一幕伏地魔兩槍三命噠結(jié)束自己噠生命時我才明白。
這才是英國人想要表達噠。
像個紳士一樣活著。
像個紳士一樣死去。
可能就是因為這樣。
本片中Harry噠才會因為面子特意離開倫敦來到童話一般噠Bruges。
這個電影把英國男人噠傲慢、偏見、固執(zhí)、正直全都表現(xiàn)出來。
歐洲噠味道就是無論多美好多幸福都會帶有一絲中世紀噠黑暗和血腥。
覺得好無聊。
比利時噠一個小城鎮(zhèn)和殺手能扯上甚麼關(guān)係。
也許是被美式警匪片薰陶噠看甚麼清淡噠片子都覺得沒味道。
但到最後一幕伏地魔兩槍三命噠結(jié)束自己噠生命時我才明白。
這才是英國人想要表達噠。
像個紳士一樣活著。
像個紳士一樣死去。
可能就是因為這樣。
本片中Harry噠才會因為面子特意離開倫敦來到童話一般噠Bruges。
這個電影把英國男人噠傲慢、偏見、固執(zhí)、正直全都表現(xiàn)出來。
歐洲噠味道就是無論多美好多幸福都會帶有一絲中世紀噠黑暗和血腥。
3 ) 殺手的理想主義
它被歸入“喜劇片”序列，標簽有“黑色幽默”、“黑幫片”、“劇情片”、“英式喜劇”……它的情節(jié)中確實穿插著一個個英式幽默的橋段，讓人不時會心一笑。但到了它出人意表的、有著漫長高潮的結(jié)尾，我卻哭得肝腸寸斷，無法停止。
這是一個應(yīng)該被歸入童話的故事，雖然是黑色的。
雷和肯是兩個合作的殺手，雷年輕，肯年老。雷在一次執(zhí)行任務(wù)中，誤殺了一個小孩，從此陷入自責之中，蒙上了沉重的心理負擔。這一次，他們倆接到一個任務(wù)，去布魯日，住在定好的一個酒店房間，逛街、等頭目哈里的電話。
他們逛了，在布魯日這個童話一般的城市里，欣賞中世紀遺留下來的建筑、夢境一般的霧氣、美麗的河道以及徜徉其上的天鵝。肯樂在其中，雷卻毫無興趣。
電話終于來了，打給肯，讓他殺掉雷，“終止他的負罪感”。而當肯懷著矛盾的心情，準備偷偷執(zhí)行命令時，卻趕上雷因為無法越過內(nèi)心的負疚，而終于決定飲彈自殺。
肯放走了雷，要他去“救一個男孩”來贖自己殺了一個男孩的罪，而他自己則留下來等待頭目哈里的懲罰。
始終以“要堅持原則”為內(nèi)心指導的哈里果然來了，在影片接近末尾的時候，他才真正說出他執(zhí)意要殺雷的原因“一個殺了孩子的人不能不受到懲罰”。他要殺雷，肯要救雷，他們都覺得自己罪孽深重，而要做堅持內(nèi)心向善的原則的事情，為此肯獻出了生命，而哈里懲罰了雷之后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己誤殺了一個男孩——其實是個成年的侏儒——而堅持自己的原則，飲彈自盡。
“要堅持原則”，是從片頭至片尾，被幾個人屢次重復(fù)的主題。殺手干的是犯罪的事情，但他們有他們的善惡觀——不可以打婦女、不可以殺孩子。他們堅信自己殺的那些人本來就不是什么好人，因此殺人并不讓他們負疚，而只有猥瑣，才讓他們鄙視，讓他們懺悔。
他們的價值觀，是中世紀的價值觀。他們是現(xiàn)代意義上的壞人，但他們卻彬彬有禮、有騎士風度，坦誠而平等地對待對手。而且他們每個人，都有一顆柔軟的心。哈里要殺掉雷，卻為他們安排了布魯日的旅行，因為他小時候來過這里，對這里有美好的印象，他希望雷在臨死前能夠享受到幸福；肯為了救雷，從高塔頂上跳了下來，而跳之前，為避免砸到無辜者，先扔硬幣把游客嚇走；雷會為一句冒犯的話打人，卻會在公園里看孩子們游戲，會把自己的積蓄給懷孕的旅館老板娘，讓她照顧自己的孩子……最感人的一段在哈里和雷在旅館決斗的部分，為怕傷及無辜的老板娘，兩個人同時選擇了離開旅館的方式。
三個“壞人”最后都死了，被殺的、和自戕的。而和這幾個壞人比起來，那些所謂的好人卻顯得猥瑣得多。禿頭用敲詐的方法搶錢、用告密的方式報自己眼睛被打瞎的仇；加拿大人貌似有教養(yǎng)，卻率先出言不遜事后又靠警察主張權(quán)利。正是這巨大的反差，讓人看到幾個堅守原則，內(nèi)心善良坦蕩的殺手一一死去的時候，會為屬于中世紀的道德隨他們消逝而感到傷痛，會寧愿要這樣的“壞人”，而不要那些懦弱猥瑣的“好人”。
血淋淋的故事，上演在一個童話般的地方，那粼粼的石板街道、傍晚的燈光，那蒸騰在半空的霧氣、中世紀的建筑，配著優(yōu)美的鋼琴樂曲，就如同三個殺手身上的中古氣質(zhì)一樣，“知道自己清醒著，卻感覺好像在夢里”（劇中臺詞）。景色與時代的反差，正是他們?nèi)说膬?nèi)心與當代人的反差。
當肯對哈里說“我愛你，你一直很正直”的時候，我還不能理解這句話。待到他為了旅館老板娘而放雷一馬，又因為以為自己殺了孩子而吞彈的時候，我才終于明了這句話的含義。哈里真是值得他愛的，雖然三個人都是善良而又原則的人，但哈里是他們中間最堅持信念的一個，堅持到了教條的地步。由此也解釋了他接到肯的電話，決心親赴布魯日殺人的時候，導演安排他溫和地與孩子們道別，并為一時的粗暴向妻子道歉的用心。多么好的一個男人，幾乎可以稱為崇高。而這樣的人的逝去，怎么能不讓人痛惜呢。
飾演哈里的演員，是拉爾夫·費因斯，這個有著貴族氣質(zhì)的整潔的男人，完美地詮釋了這個有中世紀情懷的殺手老大。在自殺那一刻，他把槍從嘴里掏出來，重述了一遍“必須要堅持原則”，然后才有塞回去開槍，那很英式，很幽默，卻讓人笑不出，眼淚不由得掉下來。
樊無期為荊軻的義舉砍下自己的頭顱、高漸離為了朋友弄瞎了自己的眼睛——這些重義輕死的壯舉，永遠地屬于了古代。原來外國，也有同樣的感嘆。
童話一般的地方，童話一般的氛圍。這一切的安排，都是在告訴大家：這只是個童話，因為，這樣的殺手，在這樣一個時代，恐怕根本活不到辦這些事的年紀。
這是一個應(yīng)該被歸入童話的故事，雖然是黑色的。
雷和肯是兩個合作的殺手，雷年輕，肯年老。雷在一次執(zhí)行任務(wù)中，誤殺了一個小孩，從此陷入自責之中，蒙上了沉重的心理負擔。這一次，他們倆接到一個任務(wù)，去布魯日，住在定好的一個酒店房間，逛街、等頭目哈里的電話。
他們逛了，在布魯日這個童話一般的城市里，欣賞中世紀遺留下來的建筑、夢境一般的霧氣、美麗的河道以及徜徉其上的天鵝。肯樂在其中，雷卻毫無興趣。
電話終于來了，打給肯，讓他殺掉雷，“終止他的負罪感”。而當肯懷著矛盾的心情，準備偷偷執(zhí)行命令時，卻趕上雷因為無法越過內(nèi)心的負疚，而終于決定飲彈自殺。
肯放走了雷，要他去“救一個男孩”來贖自己殺了一個男孩的罪，而他自己則留下來等待頭目哈里的懲罰。
始終以“要堅持原則”為內(nèi)心指導的哈里果然來了，在影片接近末尾的時候，他才真正說出他執(zhí)意要殺雷的原因“一個殺了孩子的人不能不受到懲罰”。他要殺雷，肯要救雷，他們都覺得自己罪孽深重，而要做堅持內(nèi)心向善的原則的事情，為此肯獻出了生命，而哈里懲罰了雷之后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己誤殺了一個男孩——其實是個成年的侏儒——而堅持自己的原則，飲彈自盡。
“要堅持原則”，是從片頭至片尾，被幾個人屢次重復(fù)的主題。殺手干的是犯罪的事情，但他們有他們的善惡觀——不可以打婦女、不可以殺孩子。他們堅信自己殺的那些人本來就不是什么好人，因此殺人并不讓他們負疚，而只有猥瑣，才讓他們鄙視，讓他們懺悔。
他們的價值觀，是中世紀的價值觀。他們是現(xiàn)代意義上的壞人，但他們卻彬彬有禮、有騎士風度，坦誠而平等地對待對手。而且他們每個人，都有一顆柔軟的心。哈里要殺掉雷，卻為他們安排了布魯日的旅行，因為他小時候來過這里，對這里有美好的印象，他希望雷在臨死前能夠享受到幸福；肯為了救雷，從高塔頂上跳了下來，而跳之前，為避免砸到無辜者，先扔硬幣把游客嚇走；雷會為一句冒犯的話打人，卻會在公園里看孩子們游戲，會把自己的積蓄給懷孕的旅館老板娘，讓她照顧自己的孩子……最感人的一段在哈里和雷在旅館決斗的部分，為怕傷及無辜的老板娘，兩個人同時選擇了離開旅館的方式。
三個“壞人”最后都死了，被殺的、和自戕的。而和這幾個壞人比起來，那些所謂的好人卻顯得猥瑣得多。禿頭用敲詐的方法搶錢、用告密的方式報自己眼睛被打瞎的仇；加拿大人貌似有教養(yǎng)，卻率先出言不遜事后又靠警察主張權(quán)利。正是這巨大的反差，讓人看到幾個堅守原則，內(nèi)心善良坦蕩的殺手一一死去的時候，會為屬于中世紀的道德隨他們消逝而感到傷痛，會寧愿要這樣的“壞人”，而不要那些懦弱猥瑣的“好人”。
血淋淋的故事，上演在一個童話般的地方，那粼粼的石板街道、傍晚的燈光，那蒸騰在半空的霧氣、中世紀的建筑，配著優(yōu)美的鋼琴樂曲，就如同三個殺手身上的中古氣質(zhì)一樣，“知道自己清醒著，卻感覺好像在夢里”（劇中臺詞）。景色與時代的反差，正是他們?nèi)说膬?nèi)心與當代人的反差。
當肯對哈里說“我愛你，你一直很正直”的時候，我還不能理解這句話。待到他為了旅館老板娘而放雷一馬，又因為以為自己殺了孩子而吞彈的時候，我才終于明了這句話的含義。哈里真是值得他愛的，雖然三個人都是善良而又原則的人，但哈里是他們中間最堅持信念的一個，堅持到了教條的地步。由此也解釋了他接到肯的電話，決心親赴布魯日殺人的時候，導演安排他溫和地與孩子們道別，并為一時的粗暴向妻子道歉的用心。多么好的一個男人，幾乎可以稱為崇高。而這樣的人的逝去，怎么能不讓人痛惜呢。
飾演哈里的演員，是拉爾夫·費因斯，這個有著貴族氣質(zhì)的整潔的男人，完美地詮釋了這個有中世紀情懷的殺手老大。在自殺那一刻，他把槍從嘴里掏出來，重述了一遍“必須要堅持原則”，然后才有塞回去開槍，那很英式，很幽默，卻讓人笑不出，眼淚不由得掉下來。
樊無期為荊軻的義舉砍下自己的頭顱、高漸離為了朋友弄瞎了自己的眼睛——這些重義輕死的壯舉，永遠地屬于了古代。原來外國，也有同樣的感嘆。
童話一般的地方，童話一般的氛圍。這一切的安排，都是在告訴大家：這只是個童話，因為，這樣的殺手，在這樣一個時代，恐怕根本活不到辦這些事的年紀。
4 ) 我把<in bruges>的臺詞抄了一遍。?！巨D(zhuǎn)】
http://www.douban.com/people/1972084/
原作者三天時間出的臺詞，牛逼閃閃的人物。
2009-01-02 18:41:25
In Bruges
Ray:After I killed them, I dropped the gun in the Thames,washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King,and walked home to await instructions.Shortly thereafter, the instructions came through."Get the fuck out of London, youse dumb fucks.Get to Bruges."I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.
It's in Belgium.
Ray:Bruges is a shithole.
Ken:Bruges is not a shithole.
Ray:Bruges is a shithole.
Ken:Ray, we've only just got off the fucking train.Could we reserve judgment on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?
Ray:I know it's gonna be a shithole.
STREET
Ray:Shithole.
HOTEL
Ken:I think you have a couple of rooms booked under Cranham and Blakely?
Marie:Yes. No, we have one room booked.One twin room. Booked for two weeks.
Ray:Two weeks!
Ken:Do you have another room?
Marie:No, I'm afraid we're fully booked.With Christmas, everywhere is fully booked.
Ken:Okay.
ROOM
Ken:It's very pretty.
Ray:I'm not being funny, we can't stay here.
Ken:We've got to stay here until he rings.
Ray:Well, what if he doesn't ring for two weeks?
Ken:Then we stay here for two weeks.
Ray:For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this?With you? No way!
Ken:Ray, I really don't like to say this...
Ray:You really don't like to say what?
Ken:Well... You know?
Ray:Fucking bring that up.
ON BOAT
Ray:Do you think this is good?
Ken:Do I think what's good?
Ray:You know, going round in a boat, looking at stuff.
Ken:Yes, I do.It's called "sightseeing."
Ken:Oh, look at that.It's a former hospital. From the 1100s.Bruges is the most well-preserved medieval townin the whole of Belgium, apparently.
SQUARE
Ken:Coming up?
Ray:What's up there?
Ken:The view.
Ray:The view of what? The view of down here?I can see that from down here.
Ken:Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray:Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin.If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded,Bruges might impress me.But I didn't, so it doesn't.
TOWER
Ken:Trying to get rid of me coins.3, 3.50, 4,4.10, 4.20, 4.30, 4.40, 4.50, 4.60,4.70,4.80,4.90.Will you take 4.90?
Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.
Ken:Come on, man, it's only 10 cents.
Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.
Ken:Happy in your work?
Clerk:Very happy.
ON THE TOWER
I like it here.
SQUARE
Americans:Been to the top of the tower?
Ray:Yeah. Yeah, it's rubbish.
Americans:It is? The guidebook says it's a "must-see".
Ray:Well, you lot ain't going up there.
Americans:Pardon me? Why?
Ray:I mean, it's all windy stairs. I'm not being funny.
Americans:What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray:What exactly am I trying to say?Youse are a bunch of fucking elephants!
Americans:Right, you...
Americans Woman:You know, you're just the rudest man. The rudest man!
Ken:What's all that about?
Ray:They're not going up there.
Ken:Hey, guys, I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.
Americans Woman:Screw you, motherfucker!
Ray:Americans, isn't it?
PUB
Ray:Now, this is more like it. Proper holidays.One gay beer for my gay friend,and one normal beer for me, because I am normal.This is the life.
Ken:We're not staying here getting pissed.We are quietly sightseeing, like he says,and awaiting his call to see what we do next.
Ray:This is my vote on what we should do.We give it another day, two days, max.Then we check the papers again, and if there's still nothing in them,we phone him and say,"Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges,"it's been very nice, all the old buildings and that,"but we're coming back to London now,and hide out in a proper country,"where it isn't all just fucking chocolates."
Ken:My vote would be we quietly sightsee, like he says,and await his call to see what we do next.You don't even know we're here hiding out.
Ray:What are you talking about?
Ken:You don't even know we're not here on a job.
Ray:What, on a job?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Here in Bruges?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Here in Bruges, on a job?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Why? What did he actually say?
Ken:He didn't actually say anything.
Ray:Then why do you think it might be?
Ken:I don't think anything.But it's a bit fucking over-elaborate, isn't it?"Go take him to hide out." "Go take him to hide out where?""Go take him to hide out in fucking Bruges."You can hide out in Croydon.
Ray:Hmm.Or Coventry.Hmm.It is a bit over-elaborate.Hmm.But we haven't got any guns.
Ken:Harry can get guns anywhere.
ROOM
Ray:He's not gonna ring tonight.He's not gonna ring tonight.Let's go out.
Ken:Go out where?
Ray:The pub.
Ken:No!
Ray:Let's go out and have a look at some of the...All the old medieval buildings and that.Because I bet they look even better at night, all lit up.Yes!
STREET
Ken:That there is called the Gruuthuse Museum.
Ray:They all have funny names, don't they?
Ken:Yes, Flemish.
Ray:In here it says, "The Belgians twice sheltered"fugitive English Kings from being murdered,1471 and 1651."
Ken:I used to hate history, didn't you?It's all just a load of stuff that's already happened.What are they doing over there?They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken:Ray!
Director:So, on this scene, you're supposed to walklike a little, tiny mouse, yeah?Okay? Great.
Ken:Ray, come on, let's go.
Ray:My arse, "Let's go." They're filming midgets.Oh, my God! Look at that girl.She's gorgeous!
Ken:Ray, we're going right now.
Ray:Fuck off, are we!This is the best bit of Bruges so far.You and your buildings.
Ray:Hello.Do you speak English?
Chloe:No.
Ray:Yes, you do. Everybody does.What are you filming midgets for?
Chloe:It's a Dutch movie. It's a dream sequence.It's a pastiche of Nicholas Roeg's Don't Look Now.Not a pastiche, but a...A "homage" is too strong. A "nod of the head"?
Ray:Wow, your English is very good.
Ray:A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves.A disproportionate amount.Herve Villechaize, of Fantasy Island.I think somebody off The Time Bandits.I suppose they must get really sad about, like,being really little and that.People looking at them and laughing at them.Calling them names. You know, "shortarse."There's another famous midgetI'm missing, but I can't remember.It's not the R2-D2 man. No, he's still going.I hope your midget doesn't kill himself.Your dream sequence will be fucked.
Chloe:He doesn't like being called a midget.He prefers "dwarf."
Ray:Well, this is exactly my point!People go around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf.Of course you're gonna blow your head off!My name's Ray. What's yours?
Chloe:Chloe.How did you get past the security man?
Ray:Getting past security men, it's sort of my job.
Chloe:You're a shoplifter?
Ray:No, not a shoplifter.It's a good joke, though.No.I'll tell you what I am at dinner tomorrow night.
Ray:Fuck.
Ray:How fucking cool.
HOTLE
Marie:Mr. Blakely?
Ken:Yes. No, Mr. Cranham. No. Yes. Mr. Blakely. Yes.
Marie:You have a message.
Ken:Shit!
(Harry):Number one,why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in?Number two,why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemailand not I have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist?Number three, you better fucking be in tomorrow nightwhen I fucking call againor there'll be fucking Hell to pay,I'm fucking telling you. Harry.
(Marie):I'm not the receptionist,I'm the co-owner with my husband Patrice. Marie.
ROOM
Ken:Would you turn the fucking light off!
Ray:Sorry, Ken.
Ken:Keep the fucking noise down!
Ray:Someone's in a mood.You'll never guess what.
Ken:Will you shut your fucking mouth, please, and go to sleep?
Ray:Oh, sorry.Except I've gotta take me contact lenses out.
Ray:Altogether,I had five pints of beer and six bottles.No. Six pints of beer and seven bottles.And you know what? I'm not even pissed!You'll never guess what, Ken.Ken, you'll never guess what.
Ken:What?
Ray:Got a date for tomorrow night.
Ken:I'm very happy for you.
Ray:With a girl.
Ken:Can you turn the light off, please?
Ray:Only been in Bruges one day,got a date with a girl in the film business,the Belgian film business.They're doing a film about a midget.
HOTEL
Ken:Miss?Marie?Sorry about the message last night.The man who left it is a bit of a...Well, he's a bit of a...
Marie:Cock?
Ken:Yes. He's a bit of a cock.
Marie:Morning.
Ken:Harry called last night.We missed him.
Ray:Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?
Ken:We're staying in tonight. Whatever happens.
Ray:Hmm.Except...Hmm.
Ken:Hmm.Except "hmm" what?
Ray:Except only one of us needs to stay in,really.Uh-huh.
Ken:And which one of us would that be, now, Ray?I thought you didn't like Bruges.
Ray:I don't like Bruges, it's a shithole.But I did already say I had a date with a Belgian lady in the Belgian film business, which I did already say about before.
Ken:Just don't get into any fucking trouble.We're keeping a low profile.And this morning, and this afternoon,we are doing what I want to do.Got it?
Ray:Of course.Which, I presume, will involve culture.
Ken:Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray:Somehow I believe, Ken,that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture.Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw, opposite a dwarf.
CHURCH
Ken:Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight,we'd do the things I wanted to do today?
Ray:We are doing the things that you wanted to do today.
Ken:And that we'd do them without you throwing a fucking moody,like some 5-year-old who's dropped all his sweets?
Ray:I didn't agree to that.I'll cheer up. I'll cheer up.
Ken:Up there, the top altar, is a phial brought back by a Flemish knight from the Crusades in the Holy Land.And that phial, do you know what it's said to contain?
Ray:No, what's it said to contain?
Ken:It's said to contain some drops of Jesus Christ's blood.Yeah, that's how this church got its name.Basilica of the Holy Blood.
Ray:Yeah.
Ken:Yeah.And this blood, right, though it's dried blood,at different times over many years,they say it turned back into liquid.Turned back into liquid from dried blood.At various times of great stress.
Ray:Yeah?
Ken:Yeah.So, yeah, I'm gonna go up in the queue and touch it,which is what you do.
Ray:Yeah?
Ken:Yeah. You coming?
Ray:Do I have to?
Ken:Do you have to? Of course you don't have to.It's Jesus' fucking blood, isn't it?Of course you don't fucking have to!Of course you don't fucking have to!
SQUARE
Ray:You little fucking cunt.
CHURCH
Ray:Murder, Father.
Churchman:Why did you murder someone, Raymond?
Ray:For money, Father.
Churchman:For money?You murdered someone for money?
Ray:Yes, Father.Not out of anger, not out of nothing. For money.
Churchman:Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray:You, Father.
Churchman:I'm sorry?
Ray:I said you, Father.What, are you deaf?Harry Waters says hello.
Churchman:The little boy.
ON THE PAPER..
1.Being moody.
2.Being bad at maths.
3.Being Sad.
MUSEUM
Ray:I quite like this one.All the rest were rubbish by spastics,but this one's quite good.What's that all about, then?
Ken:It's Judgment Day, you know?
Ray:Oh, yeah.What's that then?
Ken:Well, it's, you know, the final day on Earth.When mankind will be judged for all the crimes.they've committed and that.
Ray:And see who gets into Heaven and who gets into Hell and all that?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:And what's the other place?
Ken:Purgatory.
Ray:Purgatory?
Ken:Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one.
Ray:You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great, either.Like Tottenham.Do you believe in all that stuff, Ken?
Ken:About Tottenham?
Ray:The Last Judgment and the afterlife.Guilt and sins and Hell and all that?
Ken:Um...Well...
SQUARE
Ken:I don't know, Ray. I don't know what I believe.The things you're taught as a child,they never really leave you, do they?So, like, I believe in trying to lead a good life.Like, if there's an old lady, carrying her shopping home,I don't try and help her carry her shopping, I don't go that far,but I'll certainly hold the door open for her and that,and let her go out before me.
Ray:Yeah. And anyway, if you tried to help her carry her shopping,she'd probably think you were just trying to nick her shopping.
Ken:Exactly.
Ray:This is the world we live in today.
Ken:At the same time as trying to lead a good life,I have to reconcile myself with the fact that, yes, I have killed people.Not many people. Most of them were not very nice people.Apart from one person.
Ray:Who's that?
Ken:This fellow, Danny Aliband's brother.He was just trying to protect his brother. Like you or I would.He was just a lollipop man.He came at me with a bottle. What are you gonna do?I shot him down.
Ray:Hmm.In my book, though, sorry, someone comes at you with a bottle,that is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences.
Ken:I know that in my heart.I also know that he was just trying to protect his brother, you know?
Ray:I know. But a bottle, that can kill you.It's a case of it's you or him.If he'd come at you with his bare hands, that'd be different.That wouldn't have been fair.
Ken:Well, technically, your bare hands can kill somebody, too.They can be deadly weapons, too.I mean, what if he knew karate, say?
Ray:You said he was a lollipop man.
Ken:He was a lollipop man.
Ray:What's a lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate?
Ken:I'm just saying.
Ray:How old was he?
Ken:About 50.
Ray:What's a 50-year-old lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man? Jesus, Ken, I'm trying to talk about...
Ken:I know what you're trying to talk about.
Ray:I killed a little boy. You keep bringing up fucking lollipop men!
Ken:You didn't mean to kill a little boy.
Ray:I know I didn't mean to.But because of the choices I made and the course that I put into action,a little boy isn't here anymore.And he'll never be here again.I mean here in the world, not here in Belgium.Well, he'll never be here in Belgium, either, will he?I mean, he might have wanted to come here when he got older.I don't know why.And that's all because of me.He's dead because of me.And I'm trying to...I'm trying to get me head around it, but I can't.I will always have killed that little boy.That ain't ever going away. Ever.Unless...Maybe I go away.
Ken:Don't even think like that.
ROOM
Ken:You look good.
Ray:What's it matter anyway?
PUB
Chloe:So, what do you do, Raymond?
Ray:I shoot people for money.
Chloe:What kinds of people?
Ray:Priests. Children. You know, the usual.
Chloe:Is there a lot of money to be made in that line of business?
Ray:There is in priests. There isn't in children.So what is it you do, Chloe?
Chloe:I sell cocaine and heroin to Belgian film crews.
Ray:Do you?
Chloe:Do I look like I do?
Ray:You do, actually.Do I look like I shoot people?
Chloe:No.Just children.
Ray:Mmm-hmm.I saw your midget today.Little prick didn't even say hello.
Chloe:Well, he's on a lot of ketamine.
Ray:What's that?
Chloe:Horse tranquilizer.
Ray:A horse tranquilizer?Where'd he get that?
Chloe:I sold it to him.
Ray:You can't sell horse tranquilizers to a midget!
Chloe:This movie, I think it's gonna be a very good one.There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.
Ray:Of course there hasn't, it's a shithole.
Chloe:Bruges is my hometown, Ray.
Ray:Well, it's still a shithole.
Chloe:It's not a shithole.
Ray:What? Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.
Chloe:Okay.So, you've insulted my hometown.You're doing very well, Raymond.Why don't you tell me some Belgian jokes while you're at it?
Ray:I don't know any Belgian jokes.And if I did, I think I'd have the good sense not to...Hey, hang on. Is Belgium where there were all those child abuse murders lately?Then I do know a Belgian joke.What's Belgium famous for?Chocolates and child abuse.And they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids.What?
Chloe:One of the girls they murdered was a friend of mine.
Ray:I'm sorry, Chloe.
Chloe:One of the girls they murdered wasn't a friend of mine.I just wanted to make you feel bad.And it worked. Quite well.
Canadians:Fucking unbelievable.
Ray:What's fucking unbelievable?
Canadians:Are you talking to me?
(He pauses, even though he should just hit the cunt.And he repeats.)
Ray:Yes, I am talking to you. What's fucking unbelievable?
Canadians:Well, I'll tell you what's fucking unbelievable, shall I?Blowing cigarette smoke straight into myself and my girlfriend's face.
That's fucking unbelievable!
Ray:This is the smoking section.
Canadians:I don't care if it's the smoking section.All right? She directed it right in my face, man.I don't wanna die just because of your fucking arrogance.
Ray:Uh-huh. Isn't that what the Vietnamese used to say?
Canadians:Vietnamese? What are you talking about, the Vietnamese?That statement makes no fucking sense at all.
Ray:Yes it does. The Vietnamese!
Canadians:Well, saying it over and over ain't gonna make any more sense out of it.How does the Vietnamese have any relevance whatsoever to myself and my girlfriend having to breathe your friend's cigarette smoke?Tell me how saying...
Ray:That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fucking cunt!
Ray:A bottle? No, don't bother.
Ray:We're leaving.
OUT OF PUB
Ray:I don't hit women! I would never hit a woman, Chloe!I'd hit a woman who was trying to hit me with a bottle!That's different. That's self-defense, isn't it?Or a woman who could do karate.I'd never hit a woman generally, Chloe. Don't think that.God, you're pretty.
Chloe:I have to make a call.
Ray:Oh, no.You've gone off me, now, haven't you?Just because I hit that fucking cow.
ROOM
Ken:Hello?
Harry:Where the fuck were you yesterday?
Ken:We just popped out for some dinner, Harry.We only popped out for half an hour.
Harry:Yeah? What'd you have?
Ken:For dinner?
Harry:Yeah.
Ken:Pizza, at Pizza Hut.
Harry:Was it nice?
Ken:Yeah, it was all right. I don't know. It was Pizza Hut.The same as in England.
Harry:Well, that's globalization, isn't it? Is Ray there with you?
Ken:He's in the toilet.
Harry:Can he hear?
Ken:No.
Harry:What's he doing?
Ken:What do you mean?
Harry:Is he doing a wee or a poo?
Ken:I don't know, Harry, the door's closed.
Harry:Send him out on an errand for half an hour,but don't make it sound suspicious.
Ken:Ray? Why don't you go out down to the pub for half an hour?Yeah, yeah, I know I said you couldn't,but might as well enjoy ourselves, eh?No, I don't know if they've got bowling anywhere.Could have a look.Yeah, see you.Yeah. He's gone.
Harry:What'd you say to him?
Ken:I said, "Why don't you go have a drink,you say you've been cooped up?"
Harry:What did he say?
Ken:Said, yeah, he would.And he might go have a look to see if there's a bowling alley around.
Harry:Was he just having a wee?
Ken:Yeah, I think so. I assume so.
Harry:Sure he didn't mind?
Ken:No, he was glad to get out.
Harry:He's definitely gone?
Ken:Yeah, yeah, he slammed the door.
Harry:That don't mean he's gone. Go check outside the door.
Ken:Harry, he's definitely gone.
Harry:You realize there are no bowling alleys in Bruges?
Ken:I realize that, Harry. The boy wanted to have a look anyway.
Harry:What are they gonna have, a medieval fucking bowling alley?
Ken:As I say, I think he was just glad to get out and about.
Harry:So, is he having a nice time, seeing all the canals and that?I had a lovely time when I was there.All the canals and the old buildings and that.
Ken:When were you here?
Harry:When I was seven. Last happy holiday I fucking had.Have you been on a canal trip, yet? Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Have you been down, like, all the old cobbled streets and that?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:It's like a fairytale, isn't it, that place? Ken:Yeah.
Harry:With the churches and that. They're Gothic. Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Is it Gothic?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:So he's having a really nice time?
Ken:Well, I'm having a really nice time.I'm not sure if it's really his cup of tea.
Harry:What?
Ken:You know, I'm not sure if it's really his thing.
Harry:What do you mean, "It's not really his thing"?What's that supposed to mean, "It's not really his thing"?What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Ken:Nothing, Harry.
Harry:It's a fairytale fucking town, isn't it?How can a fairytale town not be somebody's fucking thing?How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches,all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff,how can that not be somebody's fucking thing, eh?
Ken:What I think I meant to say was...
Harry:Is the swan still there?
Ken:Yeah, the swan's...
Harry:How can fucking swans not fucking be somebody's fucking thing, eh?How can that be?
Ken:What I think I meant to say was,when he first arrived, he wasn't quite sure about it.You know, there's that big,dual carriageway when you get off the train?It mightn't have been here when you were here last, Harry.Well, as soon as he got into, like, the old town proper,and he saw the canals and the bridges and,you know, the swans and that,well, he just fucking loved it then.Couldn't get enough of it, the medieval part of town.It was just that initial, dual carriageway thing sort of put him off for a second.
Harry:Don't know if I remember a dual carriageway.Must be recent.Hasn't spoilt it, has it?
Ken:No, no, no, it's just that initial thing.And you know what?As we were walking through the streets,there was this sort of freezing fog hanging over everything,and it made it look almost like a fairytale or something.And he turned to me, do you know what he said?
Harry:What'd he say?
Ken:He said, "Ken, I know I'm awake,but I feel like I'm in a dream."
Harry:Yeah? He said that?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Meaning, like, in a good dream?
Ken:Yeah. Of course, like in a good dream.
Harry:Oh, good. I'm glad he likes it there.I'm glad we were able to give him something.
Something good and happy. Because he wasn't a bad kid, was he?
Ken:Huh?
Harry:He wasn't a bad kid, was he?Listen, take down this address. Raamstraat 17.That's "Raam," like "Ram," but with an extra "a."
Ken:Raamstraat 17.
Harry:You got that?
Ken:Yes, Raamstraat 17.
Harry:Good. There'll be a man there tomorrow morning at 9:00.His name's Yuri.
Ken:Yuri.
Harry:He'll give you the gun.Ring me on the public phone at Jimmy Driscoll's about 3:00 or 4:00 tomorrow, after it's done.
Ken:After what's done?
Harry:Are you being thick?
Ken:No.
Harry:Listen, I like Ray.He was a good bloke, but when it all comes down to it.You know, he blew the head off a little fucking kid.And you brought him in, Ken.So if the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?Ken?If the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?
Ken:It stops with me, Harry. That's an easy one.
Harry:Look, don't get shirty, Ken.Listen, I'm just glad that I was able to do something for the boy before he went.
Ken:Do what for the boy?
Harry:You know, have him get to see Bruges.I'd like to go to see Bruges again before I die.What was it he said again about... Yeah, "It's like a dream."
Ken:"I know I'm awake, but I feel like I'm in a dream."
Harry:Yeah.Give me a call when he's dead.
Eirik:That's my fucking girlfriend, you asshole.
Chloe:Eirik, what are you doing?
Eirik:Where are you from, fucker?
Ray:Ireland, originally.
Eirik:And you think it's okay to come over to Belgium and fuck another man's girl?
Ray:Look, I didn't know she had a boyfriend, all right?And I haven't fucked her, anyway. Ask her.I'd only put me hand on it.
Chloe:Eirik, put the gun down!
Eirik:Get down on your knees and open your mouth.
Ray:Don't start being silly.
Eirik:Get down on your...
Ray:Exactly at what point was it that all skinheads suddenly became poofs?Used to be, you were a skinhead,you just went around beating up Pakistani 12-year-olds.Now it seems a prerequisite to be a fucking bum-boy!
Ray:That's not gonna help you, man.
Chloe:Ray, there's only blanks in that gun.Eirik, don't!
Eirik:Now who's the fucking bum-boy?
Ray:You, you fucking bum-boy!Chloe, what exactly is going on here?
Eirik:I can't see! I can't see!
Ray:Of course you can't fucking see!I just shot a blank in your fucking eyes!Is this fella your boyfriend?
Eirik:No. I mean, he used to be.
Ray:Well, what's he doing here?
Chloe:We... We rob tourists, sometimes.
Ray:I fucking knew it was too good to be true!I knew you'd have never shagged me, normally.
Chloe:No! That's not true, I...I called it off tonight. I told him not to come tonight.Why did you come tonight?
Eirik:Chloe, I can't see, I swear it!
Ray:Stop whingeing like a big gay baby.I haven't had a shag in months!
Eirik:I can't see out of this eye, Chloe! I have to go to the hospital!
Chloe:I'll drive you.
Ray:Great! Now the whole night's ruined!
Chloe:No!You can stay if you want.I just don't know how long I'll be.
Ray:I just knew someone like you would never like someone like me.I just knew.
Chloe:What do you mean, someone like me?
Ray:You know, someone nice.
Chloe:Call me. Please.
Eirik:Chloe!
Ray:Cha-ching!
PUB
Ken:Have you got some sort of problem?
Bartender:No, no problem.Four beers in 20 minutes. No problem.
Ken:Fuck off.
Midget:Beer and a red wine.
Prostitute:I'll be back.
Ken:How's the movie going?
Midget:It's a jumped-up Eurotrash piece of rip-off fucking bullshit.
Ken:Like, in a bad way?Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Midget:She ain't my girlfriend.She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken:Didn't know there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Midget:You just have to look in the right places.Brothels are good.
Ken:Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Midget:Thank you.
Ken:You from the States?
Midget:Yeah.But don't hold it against me.
Ken:I'll try not to.Just try not to say anything too loud or crass.
Ray:Hey-ho. Drowning your sorrows, huh?
Ken:What sorrows?
Ray:You know, being a sad, old, ugly little man.One gay beer, please.
Ken:How'd your date go?
Ray:My date involved two instances of extreme violence.One instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing,which lasted all too briefly. Isn't that always the way?One instance of me stealing five grams of her very-high-quality cocaine,and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead.So, all in all, my evening pretty much balanced out fine.
Ken:You got five grams of coke?
Ray:I've got four grams on me and one gram in me,which is why me heart is going like the clappers,as if I'm about to have a heart attack.So if I collapse any minute now, please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.
Ken:Give us a gram, then.
Ray:I thought you were laying off, because it makes you depressed?
Ken:You know what? Right now, I don't really give a fuck.
Ray:Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?
Midget:I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today.I wasn't waving hello to anybody, except maybe to a horse.
Ray:Huh? What are you talking about?
Midget:Just horseshit.
Ray:You from America?
Midget:Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ray:Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it?Are you from America, too?
Prostitute:No, I'm from Amsterdam.
Ray:Amsterdam.Amsterdam is just a load of bloody prostitutes, isn't it?
Prostitute:Yes. That's why I came to Bruges.I thought I'd get a better price for my pussy here.
Ray:Huh?You two are weird.Would you like some cocaine?I've also got some acid and some ecstasy.
FIVE-STAR HOTEL
Ray:Herve Villechaize, I know, did.The dwarf off, I think, The Time Bandits, did.Lots of midgets...Dwarves, top themselves.Hmm. Shitloads.Would you ever think about it?
Midget:Huh?
Ray:Would you ever think about killing yourself because you're a midget?
Midget:Fuck, man! What kind of question is that?
Ray:We're just chatting, aren't we?See, Ken.this is the kind of hotel Harry should have put us in.A five-star, with prostitutes in.You know, sometimes, I think Harry doesn't even give a shit about us at all.Has he still not called?
Ken:No. Still hasn't called.
Ray:No news is good news, eh?
Ray:Who's she?
Midget:There's gonna be a war, man.I can see it.There's gonna be a war between the blacks
and between the whites.You ain't even gonna need a uniform no more.This ain't gonna be a war where you pick your side.Your side's already picked for you.
Ray:And I know whose side I'm fighting on.I'm fighting with the blacks.The whites are gonna get their heads kicked in!
Midget:You don't decide this shit, man.
Ray:Well, who are the half-castes gonna fight with?
Midget:The blacks, man. That's obvious.
Ray:But what about the Pakistanis?
Midget:The blacks.
Ray:What about...Think of a hard one.What about the Vietnamese?
Midget:The blacks!
Ray:Well, I'm definitely fighting with the blacks if they've got the Vietnamese.So, hang on.Would all of the white midgets in the world be fighting against all the black midgets in the world?
Midget:Yeah.
Ray:That would make a good film!
Midget:You don't know how much shit I've had to take off of black midgets, man.
Ray:That's...Undeniably true.
Ken:See, Jimmy,my wife was black.And I loved her very much.And in 1976, she was murdered by a white man. So...Where the fuck am I supposed to stand in all this blood and carnage?
Midget:Did they get the guy who did it?
Ken:A friend of mine got him.
Ray:Harry Waters got him.
Ken:So tell me, Jim,whose side do I fight on in this wonderful war?
Midget:I think you need to weigh up all your options and let your conscience decide, Ken.
Ken:Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.I think I'm heading home.
Ray:Yeah. I think I'll come with you.
Midget:What's...
Ray:Back off, shorty!
Midget:You don't know karate.
Ken:Don't say you didn't have it coming.
Ray:Don't say you didn't have it coming.Shortarse!
YURI'S HOME
Ken:Meeting Yuri.
Yuri:Yes, I'm Yuri.
Yuri:Mr. Waters said that might be necessary.There are a lot of alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.You use this word, "alcoves"?
Ken:"Alcoves"? Yes. Sometimes.
Yuri:There are not many people around in these alcoves in Christmastime.If I were to murder a man, I would murder him here.Are you sure this is the right word, "alcoves"?
Ken:"Alcoves," yes. It's kind of like "nooks and crannies."
Yuri:"Nooks and crannies," yes. Perhaps this would be more accurate."Nooks and crannies," rather than "alcoves." Yeah.
Yuri:You are going to do it, aren't you? Mr. Waters will be very disappointed...
Ken:Of course I'm going to fucking do it.It's what I do.
HOTLE
Marie:Your friend was behaving rather oddly this morning.
Ken:Oddly? How?
Marie:Well, he asked me about the baby,and if I wanted a boy or a girl.I said I didn't mind as long as it's healthy, of course.But then he gave me 200 euros to give to the baby.I refused, obviously, but he was quite insistent.Would you give it back to him when you see him?I don't want to appear ungrateful,but it seemed like all the money he had.
Ken:Do you know where he is now?
Marie:He said he was going to the park.
PARK
Ken:Sorry, Ray.
Ken:I'm sorry.
Ken:Ray, don't!
Ray:Fucking hell! Where the fuck did you come from?
Ken:I was behind the thing.What the fuck are you doing, Ray?
Ray:What the fuck are you doing?
Ken:Nothing.
Ray:Oh, my God!You were gonna kill me. Ken:No, I wasn't.You were gonna kill yourself! Ray:What?I'm allowed to.
Ken:No, you're not!
Ray:What?I'm not allowed to and you are? How's that fair?
Ken:Can we go somewhere and talk about this, please?
Ken:I wasn't gonna go through with it, Ray.
Ray:You fucking looked like you were gonna go fucking through with it.Where'd you get that gun?
Ken:A friend of Harry's.
Ray:Fuck, man.Let me see it.Silencer, too.Nice.Mine's a bloody girl's gun.
Ken:I'm keeping it.
Ray:Pardon me?Give me me gun back. Ken:You're not getting it back.You're a suicide case.
Ray:And you were trying to shoot me in the fucking head.
Ken:You're not getting that gun back.
Ray:A great day this has turned out to be.I'm suicidal, me mate tries to kill me,me gun gets nicked and we're still in fucking Bruges.
Ken:Listen, I'm gonna give you some money and put you on a train somewhere.
Ray:Back to England?
Ken:You can't go back to England, Ray. You'd be a dead man!
Ray:I want to be a dead man.Have you been missing something?
Ken:You don't want to be a dead man, Ray.
Ray:I killed a little boy!
Ken:Then save the next little boy.Just go away somewhere,get out of this business and try to do something good.You're not gonna help anybody dead.You're not gonna bring that boy back.But you might save the next one.
Ray:What am I gonna be, a doctor?You need exams.
Ken:Do anything, Ray. Do anything.
ROOM
(Dear Ken,I went to the park so she wouldn't have to clean it up.Ray)
Ray:What a wanker!
Ken:He said this whole trip,this whole being in Bruges thing,was just to give you one last, joyful memory before you died.
Ray:In Bruges?The Bahamas, maybe.Why fucking Bruges?
Ken:I suppose it's cheaper.
TRAIN STATION
Ray:The rest of the acid and the ecstasy.Can I have me gun back, please?What am I gonna do, Ken?What am I gonna do?
Ken:Just keep moving.Keep on moving.Try not to think about it.Learn a new language, maybe?
Ray:Sure, I can hardly do English.That's one thing I like about Europe, though.You don't have to learn any of their languages.
Ken:Just forget about home for a while.See how the land lies in six years, seven years.Seven years is not that long.
Ray:It's longer than that boy got.Me first fucking job.Great hitman I turned out to be.
Ken:Some people just aren't cut out for it, Ray.
Ray:Are you?
Ray:When are you going back to England?
Ken:I'll head back in a couple of hours or something.
Ray:Harry's not gonna be mad at you, is he? For letting me go?
Ken:I'll sort out Harry.
Ray:Just tell him I'll have probably killed meself in a fortnight, anyway.
Ken:You won't, will you, Ray?
Ken:Harry? It's Ken.Listen to this noise.Do you know what that is?Yeah, I know you know it's a train.Do you know what train?Well, it's a train that Ray just got on,and he's alive and he's well,and he doesn't know where he's going and neither do I.So if you need to do your worst, do your worst.You've got the address of the hotel. I'll be here waiting.Because I've got to quite like Bruges, now.It's like a fucking fairytale or something.
HARRY'S HOME
Harry's wife:Harry.
Harry's wife:Harry!
Harry:What?
Harry's wife:It's an inanimate fucking object.
Harry:You're an inanimate fucking object!
Harry:Now, you lot be good for your mummy and lmamoto, okay?'Cause Daddy's got to go away for a few days.
Harry's wife:Where are you going?
Harry:I've got to go to Bruges.
Harry's wife:Bruges? Where's that?
Harry:It's in Belgium.
Harry's wife:Why would anybody have to go to Belgium?
Harry:'Cause I've got to sort something out.
Harry's wife:Is it something to do with the phone?
Harry:It's something to do with Ken.It's a matter of honor.
Harry's wife:Well, it ain't gonna be dangerous, is it?
Harry:Well, of course it's gonna be dangerous if it's a matter of fucking honor!
Harry's wife:You are bringing the fellas with you?Tell me you're bringing the fellas with you.Harry.
Harry:I'm sorry for calling you an inanimate object.I was upset.
ON THE TRAIN
Police:You're Irish?
Ray:Yes.
Police:What is your name?
Ray:Derek Perlurrl.
Police:You hit the Canadian.You hit the Canadian.
Ray:I "heet" the Canadian?I don't know what you're talking about.
Canadian:That's him! That's the motherfucker.
Police:You hit the Canadian, yeah?
Ray:Canadian? Shit.
Police:We're taking you back to Bruges. Ray:Brilliant.
YURI'S HOME
Harry:Aye aye.
Yuri:Take your pick, Mr. Waters.
Harry:An Uzi?I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles.I didn't come here to shoot
20 black 10-year-olds in a fucking drive-by.
I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Yuri:I knew he wouldn't kill the guy.I could see it in his eyes when I was telling him about the alcoves.
Harry:About the what?
Yuri:The alcoves.The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.Oh, I also have some dumdums.You use this word, "dumdums"?The bullets that make the head explode?
Harry:Dumdums, yeah.
Yuri:Would you like some of these dumdums?
Harry:I know I shouldn't,but I will.
Eirik:Motherfucker.
Harry:Is he talking to me?
Yuri:No, Eirik's on your side, Mr. Waters.Your young friend blinded him last night.
Harry:Ray did?
Eirik:I was trying to rob him and he took my gun from me.And the gun was full of blanks,and he shot the blank into my eye.And now, I cannot see from this eye ever again,the doctors say.
Harry:Well, to be honest, it sounds like it was all your fault.
Eirik:What?
Harry:I mean, basically, if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks,and you allow your gun to be taken off you,and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank,for which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, then,yeah, really, it's all your fault for being such a poof.So why don't you stop whingeing and cheer the fuck up?
Yuri:Eirik, I really wouldn't respond.
Eirik:I thought you wanted the guy dead?
Harry:I do want the guy dead. I want him fucking crucified.But it don't change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind, little gay boy. Does it?Thanks for the gun, Yuri.
SQUARE
Harry:Well?
Ken:The boy is suicidal, Harry.He's a walking dead man.Keeps going on about Hell and purgatory...
Harry:When I phoned you yesterday, did I ask you,
"Ken, will you do me a favor and become Ray's psychiatrist, please?"No. What I think I asked you was,"Could you go blow his fucking head off for me?""He's suicidal"?I'm suicidal. You're suicidal. Everybody's fucking suicidal!We don't all keep going on about it!Has he killed himself yet?No. So he's not fucking suicidal, is he?
Ken:He put a loaded gun to his head this morning.I stopped him.
Harry:He... What?This gets fucking worse!
Ken:We were down in the park...
Harry:Let me get this right. You were down in the park?What's that got to do with fucking anything?Let me get this right.Not only have you refused to kill the boy,you've even stopped the boy from killing himself,which would have solved my problem,
which would have solved your problem,which sounds like it would've solved the boy's problem.
Ken:It wouldn't have solved his problem.
Harry:Ken, if I had killed a little kid, accidentally or otherwise,I wouldn't have thought twice.I'd have killed myself on the fucking spot.On the fucking spot.I'd have stuck the gun in me mouth on the fucking spot!
Ken:That's you, Harry.The boy has the capacity to change.The boy has the capacity to do something decent with his life.
Harry:Excuse me, Ken. I have the capacity to change.
Ken:Yeah, you do.You've the capacity to get fucking worse!
Harry:Yeah, now I'm getting down to it!
Ken:Harry, let's face it.And I'm not being funny, I mean no disrespect,but you're a cunt.You're a cunt now, you've always been a cunt.And the only thing that's gonna change is you're gonna become an even bigger cunt.Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry:Leave my kids fucking out of it.What have they done?You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken:I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry:Insulting my fucking kids! That's going overboard, mate!
Ken:I retracted it, didn't I?Still leaves you being a cunt.
Harry:Yeah, I fucking got that.
Harry:Where's Ray now?
Ken:Oh, right about now, Ray is in one or other of the one million towns in mainland Europe it's possible to be in, other than here.
POLICE OFFICE
Ray:I'll get all the money back to you soon as I get through to me friend.
Chloe:It's not a problem, Raymond.
Ray:And I'll get all your acid and your ecstasy back to you, too.
Chloe:English humor!
SQUARE
Harry:I'm assuming you've got your gun on you.
Ken:That Yuri bloke's a funny fella, isn't he?
Harry:He does yoga.
Ken:"The alcoves."
Harry:Was he going on to you about the alcoves?
Ken:"The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park." Harry, I know you gotta do what you gotta do.It's a bit crowded round here, you know?
Harry:Well, I'm not gonna have a shootout in the middle of a thousand fucking Belgians, am I?Not to mention the other nationalities,just on their holidays. Ken:Hmm.To see the swans and the Gothic and all the fairytale stuff, eh?
Harry:Are you trying to fucking wind me up?
Ken:No, Harry.
Harry:On top of calling me a cunt and calling me kids cunts.I might just have to fucking shoot you right here.Christ!
Ken:Let's go up the bell tower.Be quiet up there this time of evening.Let's go up there.
Ray:Yeah. Canadians.I feel a bit bad.They didn't kill John Lennon, did they?Anyway, supposed to turn up to court here in two days.
Chloe:Are you going to turn up?
Ray:Don't know.What have I got to stay for really?
Chloe:The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in all of your stupid life.
Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.
Ken:No way. It's supposed to be open till 7:00.
Clerk:The tower is usually open until 7:00.Yesterday an American had a heart attack up the tower.Today the tower is closed.
Harry:Here, cranky, here's 100 for you.We're only gonna be 20 minutes.
Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.Understand, Englishman?
Ray:Jimmy, I've been wanting to say I'm really sorry for karate-chopping you the other night.That was way out of order.
Midget:You know, Ray,I'd find it easier to believe and forgive you, somehow,if the two of you weren't laughing straight in my fucking face!It's for the goddamn movie, man.
Ken:It is a nice town, Harry.I'm glad I got to see it.I didn't mean to be taking the piss out of it being a fairytale place.It is a fairytale place.It really is.
Harry:Hmm.It's just a shame it's in Belgium, really.But then you figure if it wasn't in Belgium,if it was somewhere good,there'd be too many people coming to see it.It would spoil the whole thing.
Ken:Well, I'm glad I got to see it before I died.
Harry:What are you doing?What are you fucking doing?
Ken:I'm not fighting anymore, Harry.
Harry:All right, then I'm blowing your fucking head off.Don't come over all Gandhi. What are you fucking doing?Ken, stop messing about, please.Pick up your gun. I know I'm going to beat you anyway'cause you're a spaz, but...
Ken:Harry,I'm totally in your debt.The things that have gone between us in the past,I love you unreservedly for all that.
Harry:What?
Ken:For your integrity.For your honor.I love you.The boy had to be let go.The boy had to be given a chance.And if to do that, I had to say,"Fuck you, and fuck what I owe you,"and fuck everything that's gone on between us,"then that's what I had to do.But I'm not fighting you.And I accept, totally, everything you've got to do.I accept it. Totally.
Harry:Oh, yeah?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Well, you say all that fucking stuff,I can't fucking shoot you now, can I?
Ken:It's entirely up to you, Harry.It's entirely your call.All I'm saying is I'm not fighting.
Ken:Oh, you fucking cunt!
Harry:Look, I'm not gonna do nothing to you just 'cause you're standing about like Robert fucking Powell.
Ken:Like who?
Harry:Like Robert fucking Powell out of Jesus of fucking Nazareth!
Ken:My fucking leg!
Midget:The psycho dwarf turns out to just be a loveable little schoolboy,and it's all some kind of Boschian nightmare.Kiss my ass!
Ray:I guess at least there weren't any black people involved, eh, Jimmy?
Midget:I wasn't...I wasn't talking about...
Ray:There's gonna be a war between all the blacks and all the whites.And all the black midgets and all the white midgets,which would actually be really good.
Midget:That's just cocaine.
Ray:He didn't even want the Vietnamese on his side!
Midget:That's just cocaine.Listen, we're filming down by the pointy building tonight.It might actually be good for once.You guys should come along.
Chloe:We...I think we're just gonna have a quiet one tonight, Jimmy.
Midget:That's how it is!In another life.
Ray:They're great, aren't they?
You didn't. You didn't!
Eirik:Mr. Waters? Mr. Waters?
Harry:Who's that?
Eirik:It's Eirik.
Harry:The blind boy?
Eirik:Yeah.Yes.
Harry:What do you fucking want?
Eirik:The guy you're looking for,the guy Ray, he's downstairs at the bar.
Harry:I'm sorry, Ken.
Harry:But you can't kill a kid and expect to get away with it.
Harry:You just can't.
Harry:Where?
Eirik:To the left when you come out.The bar to the left.
Ray:Ken!
Ray:Ken! Ken!
Ken:Harry's here.
Ray:What?
Ken:Take my gun.
Ray:Ken?Where's my gun?Where's my gun?
Ken:I'm gonna die now, I think.
Ray:Oh, Ken!Jesus!
HOTEL
Ray:Put that gun away, right now!
Marie:Mr. Blakely said you had left.
Ray:I need the key to the room right now.Quickly, now!And you gotta go home right now.It's very, very dangerous here.All right? Go home! Right now!
Marie:Okay.
Marie:No, I won't let you up there!
Harry:Lady, get out of my fucking way, please.
Marie:No, I won't. I won't get out of your way.You'll have to go through me.
Harry:Well, obviously, I'm not gonna through you, am I,with a baby and that? I'm a nice person.But could you just get out of the fucking way, please?
Ray:Marie!Just let him come up, it's okay.Harry, swear not to start shooting until she's left the hotel.
Harry:I swear not to start shooting till she's left the hotel.I totally swear.
Marie:Well, I'm not going anywhere.This is my hotel.So you can fuck off!
Harry:I suppose you've got a gun up there? Ray:Yeah.
Harry:Then what are we gonna do? We can't stand here all night.
Marie:Why don't you both put your guns down and go home?
Harry:Don't be stupid. This is the shootout.
Ray:Harry, I've got an idea.
Harry:What?
Ray:My room faces onto the canal, right?I'm gonna go back to me room, jump into the canal,see if I can swim to the other side and escape.
Harry:Right.
Ray:If you go outside and round the corner,you can shoot at me from there and try and get me.That way, we leave this lady and her baby out of the whole, entire thing.
Harry:Do you completely promise to jump into the canal?I don't want to run out there, come back in 10 minutes and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.
Ray:I completely promise, Harry.I'm not gonna risk having another little kid die, am I?
Harry:So, hang on, I go outside,then I go which way, right or left?
Ray:You go right, don't you?You can see it from the doorway! It's a big fucking canal!
Harry:All right. Jesus! I've only just got here, haven't I?Okay. On a count of "one, two, three, go," okay?
Ray:Okay.
Ray:What? Who says it?
Harry:Oh, you say it.
Marie:You guys are crazy.
Ray:Are you ready?
Harry:Ready.
Ray:Set?
Harry:Set.
Ray:One, two, three, go!
ON THE CANAL
Ray:Keep driving!
Ray:No way. You're way too far away.
Ray:The little boy.
Harry:That's right, Ray.The little boy.
Harry:Oh.
Harry:I see.
Ray:No, Harry.
Ray:He's not...
Harry:You've got to stick to your principles.
There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened.And I thought, "If I survive all this,"I'll go to that house, apologize to the mother there,"and accept whatever punishment she chose for me."Prison, death, it didn't matter.Because at least in prison and at least in death, you know,I wouldn't be in fucking Bruges.But then, like a flash, it came to me, and I realized,"Fuck, man, maybe that's what Hell is."The entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges!"And I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.
END
http://www.douban.com/note/24344026/?post=ok#last
原作者三天時間出的臺詞，牛逼閃閃的人物。
2009-01-02 18:41:25
In Bruges
Ray:After I killed them, I dropped the gun in the Thames,washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King,and walked home to await instructions.Shortly thereafter, the instructions came through."Get the fuck out of London, youse dumb fucks.Get to Bruges."I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.
It's in Belgium.
Ray:Bruges is a shithole.
Ken:Bruges is not a shithole.
Ray:Bruges is a shithole.
Ken:Ray, we've only just got off the fucking train.Could we reserve judgment on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?
Ray:I know it's gonna be a shithole.
STREET
Ray:Shithole.
HOTEL
Ken:I think you have a couple of rooms booked under Cranham and Blakely?
Marie:Yes. No, we have one room booked.One twin room. Booked for two weeks.
Ray:Two weeks!
Ken:Do you have another room?
Marie:No, I'm afraid we're fully booked.With Christmas, everywhere is fully booked.
Ken:Okay.
ROOM
Ken:It's very pretty.
Ray:I'm not being funny, we can't stay here.
Ken:We've got to stay here until he rings.
Ray:Well, what if he doesn't ring for two weeks?
Ken:Then we stay here for two weeks.
Ray:For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this?With you? No way!
Ken:Ray, I really don't like to say this...
Ray:You really don't like to say what?
Ken:Well... You know?
Ray:Fucking bring that up.
ON BOAT
Ray:Do you think this is good?
Ken:Do I think what's good?
Ray:You know, going round in a boat, looking at stuff.
Ken:Yes, I do.It's called "sightseeing."
Ken:Oh, look at that.It's a former hospital. From the 1100s.Bruges is the most well-preserved medieval townin the whole of Belgium, apparently.
SQUARE
Ken:Coming up?
Ray:What's up there?
Ken:The view.
Ray:The view of what? The view of down here?I can see that from down here.
Ken:Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray:Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin.If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded,Bruges might impress me.But I didn't, so it doesn't.
TOWER
Ken:Trying to get rid of me coins.3, 3.50, 4,4.10, 4.20, 4.30, 4.40, 4.50, 4.60,4.70,4.80,4.90.Will you take 4.90?
Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.
Ken:Come on, man, it's only 10 cents.
Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.
Ken:Happy in your work?
Clerk:Very happy.
ON THE TOWER
I like it here.
SQUARE
Americans:Been to the top of the tower?
Ray:Yeah. Yeah, it's rubbish.
Americans:It is? The guidebook says it's a "must-see".
Ray:Well, you lot ain't going up there.
Americans:Pardon me? Why?
Ray:I mean, it's all windy stairs. I'm not being funny.
Americans:What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray:What exactly am I trying to say?Youse are a bunch of fucking elephants!
Americans:Right, you...
Americans Woman:You know, you're just the rudest man. The rudest man!
Ken:What's all that about?
Ray:They're not going up there.
Ken:Hey, guys, I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.
Americans Woman:Screw you, motherfucker!
Ray:Americans, isn't it?
PUB
Ray:Now, this is more like it. Proper holidays.One gay beer for my gay friend,and one normal beer for me, because I am normal.This is the life.
Ken:We're not staying here getting pissed.We are quietly sightseeing, like he says,and awaiting his call to see what we do next.
Ray:This is my vote on what we should do.We give it another day, two days, max.Then we check the papers again, and if there's still nothing in them,we phone him and say,"Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges,"it's been very nice, all the old buildings and that,"but we're coming back to London now,and hide out in a proper country,"where it isn't all just fucking chocolates."
Ken:My vote would be we quietly sightsee, like he says,and await his call to see what we do next.You don't even know we're here hiding out.
Ray:What are you talking about?
Ken:You don't even know we're not here on a job.
Ray:What, on a job?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Here in Bruges?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Here in Bruges, on a job?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:Why? What did he actually say?
Ken:He didn't actually say anything.
Ray:Then why do you think it might be?
Ken:I don't think anything.But it's a bit fucking over-elaborate, isn't it?"Go take him to hide out." "Go take him to hide out where?""Go take him to hide out in fucking Bruges."You can hide out in Croydon.
Ray:Hmm.Or Coventry.Hmm.It is a bit over-elaborate.Hmm.But we haven't got any guns.
Ken:Harry can get guns anywhere.
ROOM
Ray:He's not gonna ring tonight.He's not gonna ring tonight.Let's go out.
Ken:Go out where?
Ray:The pub.
Ken:No!
Ray:Let's go out and have a look at some of the...All the old medieval buildings and that.Because I bet they look even better at night, all lit up.Yes!
STREET
Ken:That there is called the Gruuthuse Museum.
Ray:They all have funny names, don't they?
Ken:Yes, Flemish.
Ray:In here it says, "The Belgians twice sheltered"fugitive English Kings from being murdered,1471 and 1651."
Ken:I used to hate history, didn't you?It's all just a load of stuff that's already happened.What are they doing over there?They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken:Ray!
Director:So, on this scene, you're supposed to walklike a little, tiny mouse, yeah?Okay? Great.
Ken:Ray, come on, let's go.
Ray:My arse, "Let's go." They're filming midgets.Oh, my God! Look at that girl.She's gorgeous!
Ken:Ray, we're going right now.
Ray:Fuck off, are we!This is the best bit of Bruges so far.You and your buildings.
Ray:Hello.Do you speak English?
Chloe:No.
Ray:Yes, you do. Everybody does.What are you filming midgets for?
Chloe:It's a Dutch movie. It's a dream sequence.It's a pastiche of Nicholas Roeg's Don't Look Now.Not a pastiche, but a...A "homage" is too strong. A "nod of the head"?
Ray:Wow, your English is very good.
Ray:A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves.A disproportionate amount.Herve Villechaize, of Fantasy Island.I think somebody off The Time Bandits.I suppose they must get really sad about, like,being really little and that.People looking at them and laughing at them.Calling them names. You know, "shortarse."There's another famous midgetI'm missing, but I can't remember.It's not the R2-D2 man. No, he's still going.I hope your midget doesn't kill himself.Your dream sequence will be fucked.
Chloe:He doesn't like being called a midget.He prefers "dwarf."
Ray:Well, this is exactly my point!People go around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf.Of course you're gonna blow your head off!My name's Ray. What's yours?
Chloe:Chloe.How did you get past the security man?
Ray:Getting past security men, it's sort of my job.
Chloe:You're a shoplifter?
Ray:No, not a shoplifter.It's a good joke, though.No.I'll tell you what I am at dinner tomorrow night.
Ray:Fuck.
Ray:How fucking cool.
HOTLE
Marie:Mr. Blakely?
Ken:Yes. No, Mr. Cranham. No. Yes. Mr. Blakely. Yes.
Marie:You have a message.
Ken:Shit!
(Harry):Number one,why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in?Number two,why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemailand not I have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist?Number three, you better fucking be in tomorrow nightwhen I fucking call againor there'll be fucking Hell to pay,I'm fucking telling you. Harry.
(Marie):I'm not the receptionist,I'm the co-owner with my husband Patrice. Marie.
ROOM
Ken:Would you turn the fucking light off!
Ray:Sorry, Ken.
Ken:Keep the fucking noise down!
Ray:Someone's in a mood.You'll never guess what.
Ken:Will you shut your fucking mouth, please, and go to sleep?
Ray:Oh, sorry.Except I've gotta take me contact lenses out.
Ray:Altogether,I had five pints of beer and six bottles.No. Six pints of beer and seven bottles.And you know what? I'm not even pissed!You'll never guess what, Ken.Ken, you'll never guess what.
Ken:What?
Ray:Got a date for tomorrow night.
Ken:I'm very happy for you.
Ray:With a girl.
Ken:Can you turn the light off, please?
Ray:Only been in Bruges one day,got a date with a girl in the film business,the Belgian film business.They're doing a film about a midget.
HOTEL
Ken:Miss?Marie?Sorry about the message last night.The man who left it is a bit of a...Well, he's a bit of a...
Marie:Cock?
Ken:Yes. He's a bit of a cock.
Marie:Morning.
Ken:Harry called last night.We missed him.
Ray:Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?
Ken:We're staying in tonight. Whatever happens.
Ray:Hmm.Except...Hmm.
Ken:Hmm.Except "hmm" what?
Ray:Except only one of us needs to stay in,really.Uh-huh.
Ken:And which one of us would that be, now, Ray?I thought you didn't like Bruges.
Ray:I don't like Bruges, it's a shithole.But I did already say I had a date with a Belgian lady in the Belgian film business, which I did already say about before.
Ken:Just don't get into any fucking trouble.We're keeping a low profile.And this morning, and this afternoon,we are doing what I want to do.Got it?
Ray:Of course.Which, I presume, will involve culture.
Ken:Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray:Somehow I believe, Ken,that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture.Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw, opposite a dwarf.
CHURCH
Ken:Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight,we'd do the things I wanted to do today?
Ray:We are doing the things that you wanted to do today.
Ken:And that we'd do them without you throwing a fucking moody,like some 5-year-old who's dropped all his sweets?
Ray:I didn't agree to that.I'll cheer up. I'll cheer up.
Ken:Up there, the top altar, is a phial brought back by a Flemish knight from the Crusades in the Holy Land.And that phial, do you know what it's said to contain?
Ray:No, what's it said to contain?
Ken:It's said to contain some drops of Jesus Christ's blood.Yeah, that's how this church got its name.Basilica of the Holy Blood.
Ray:Yeah.
Ken:Yeah.And this blood, right, though it's dried blood,at different times over many years,they say it turned back into liquid.Turned back into liquid from dried blood.At various times of great stress.
Ray:Yeah?
Ken:Yeah.So, yeah, I'm gonna go up in the queue and touch it,which is what you do.
Ray:Yeah?
Ken:Yeah. You coming?
Ray:Do I have to?
Ken:Do you have to? Of course you don't have to.It's Jesus' fucking blood, isn't it?Of course you don't fucking have to!Of course you don't fucking have to!
SQUARE
Ray:You little fucking cunt.
CHURCH
Ray:Murder, Father.
Churchman:Why did you murder someone, Raymond?
Ray:For money, Father.
Churchman:For money?You murdered someone for money?
Ray:Yes, Father.Not out of anger, not out of nothing. For money.
Churchman:Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray:You, Father.
Churchman:I'm sorry?
Ray:I said you, Father.What, are you deaf?Harry Waters says hello.
Churchman:The little boy.
ON THE PAPER..
1.Being moody.
2.Being bad at maths.
3.Being Sad.
MUSEUM
Ray:I quite like this one.All the rest were rubbish by spastics,but this one's quite good.What's that all about, then?
Ken:It's Judgment Day, you know?
Ray:Oh, yeah.What's that then?
Ken:Well, it's, you know, the final day on Earth.When mankind will be judged for all the crimes.they've committed and that.
Ray:And see who gets into Heaven and who gets into Hell and all that?
Ken:Yeah.
Ray:And what's the other place?
Ken:Purgatory.
Ray:Purgatory?
Ken:Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one.
Ray:You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great, either.Like Tottenham.Do you believe in all that stuff, Ken?
Ken:About Tottenham?
Ray:The Last Judgment and the afterlife.Guilt and sins and Hell and all that?
Ken:Um...Well...
SQUARE
Ken:I don't know, Ray. I don't know what I believe.The things you're taught as a child,they never really leave you, do they?So, like, I believe in trying to lead a good life.Like, if there's an old lady, carrying her shopping home,I don't try and help her carry her shopping, I don't go that far,but I'll certainly hold the door open for her and that,and let her go out before me.
Ray:Yeah. And anyway, if you tried to help her carry her shopping,she'd probably think you were just trying to nick her shopping.
Ken:Exactly.
Ray:This is the world we live in today.
Ken:At the same time as trying to lead a good life,I have to reconcile myself with the fact that, yes, I have killed people.Not many people. Most of them were not very nice people.Apart from one person.
Ray:Who's that?
Ken:This fellow, Danny Aliband's brother.He was just trying to protect his brother. Like you or I would.He was just a lollipop man.He came at me with a bottle. What are you gonna do?I shot him down.
Ray:Hmm.In my book, though, sorry, someone comes at you with a bottle,that is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences.
Ken:I know that in my heart.I also know that he was just trying to protect his brother, you know?
Ray:I know. But a bottle, that can kill you.It's a case of it's you or him.If he'd come at you with his bare hands, that'd be different.That wouldn't have been fair.
Ken:Well, technically, your bare hands can kill somebody, too.They can be deadly weapons, too.I mean, what if he knew karate, say?
Ray:You said he was a lollipop man.
Ken:He was a lollipop man.
Ray:What's a lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate?
Ken:I'm just saying.
Ray:How old was he?
Ken:About 50.
Ray:What's a 50-year-old lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man? Jesus, Ken, I'm trying to talk about...
Ken:I know what you're trying to talk about.
Ray:I killed a little boy. You keep bringing up fucking lollipop men!
Ken:You didn't mean to kill a little boy.
Ray:I know I didn't mean to.But because of the choices I made and the course that I put into action,a little boy isn't here anymore.And he'll never be here again.I mean here in the world, not here in Belgium.Well, he'll never be here in Belgium, either, will he?I mean, he might have wanted to come here when he got older.I don't know why.And that's all because of me.He's dead because of me.And I'm trying to...I'm trying to get me head around it, but I can't.I will always have killed that little boy.That ain't ever going away. Ever.Unless...Maybe I go away.
Ken:Don't even think like that.
ROOM
Ken:You look good.
Ray:What's it matter anyway?
PUB
Chloe:So, what do you do, Raymond?
Ray:I shoot people for money.
Chloe:What kinds of people?
Ray:Priests. Children. You know, the usual.
Chloe:Is there a lot of money to be made in that line of business?
Ray:There is in priests. There isn't in children.So what is it you do, Chloe?
Chloe:I sell cocaine and heroin to Belgian film crews.
Ray:Do you?
Chloe:Do I look like I do?
Ray:You do, actually.Do I look like I shoot people?
Chloe:No.Just children.
Ray:Mmm-hmm.I saw your midget today.Little prick didn't even say hello.
Chloe:Well, he's on a lot of ketamine.
Ray:What's that?
Chloe:Horse tranquilizer.
Ray:A horse tranquilizer?Where'd he get that?
Chloe:I sold it to him.
Ray:You can't sell horse tranquilizers to a midget!
Chloe:This movie, I think it's gonna be a very good one.There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.
Ray:Of course there hasn't, it's a shithole.
Chloe:Bruges is my hometown, Ray.
Ray:Well, it's still a shithole.
Chloe:It's not a shithole.
Ray:What? Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.
Chloe:Okay.So, you've insulted my hometown.You're doing very well, Raymond.Why don't you tell me some Belgian jokes while you're at it?
Ray:I don't know any Belgian jokes.And if I did, I think I'd have the good sense not to...Hey, hang on. Is Belgium where there were all those child abuse murders lately?Then I do know a Belgian joke.What's Belgium famous for?Chocolates and child abuse.And they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids.What?
Chloe:One of the girls they murdered was a friend of mine.
Ray:I'm sorry, Chloe.
Chloe:One of the girls they murdered wasn't a friend of mine.I just wanted to make you feel bad.And it worked. Quite well.
Canadians:Fucking unbelievable.
Ray:What's fucking unbelievable?
Canadians:Are you talking to me?
(He pauses, even though he should just hit the cunt.And he repeats.)
Ray:Yes, I am talking to you. What's fucking unbelievable?
Canadians:Well, I'll tell you what's fucking unbelievable, shall I?Blowing cigarette smoke straight into myself and my girlfriend's face.
That's fucking unbelievable!
Ray:This is the smoking section.
Canadians:I don't care if it's the smoking section.All right? She directed it right in my face, man.I don't wanna die just because of your fucking arrogance.
Ray:Uh-huh. Isn't that what the Vietnamese used to say?
Canadians:Vietnamese? What are you talking about, the Vietnamese?That statement makes no fucking sense at all.
Ray:Yes it does. The Vietnamese!
Canadians:Well, saying it over and over ain't gonna make any more sense out of it.How does the Vietnamese have any relevance whatsoever to myself and my girlfriend having to breathe your friend's cigarette smoke?Tell me how saying...
Ray:That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fucking cunt!
Ray:A bottle? No, don't bother.
Ray:We're leaving.
OUT OF PUB
Ray:I don't hit women! I would never hit a woman, Chloe!I'd hit a woman who was trying to hit me with a bottle!That's different. That's self-defense, isn't it?Or a woman who could do karate.I'd never hit a woman generally, Chloe. Don't think that.God, you're pretty.
Chloe:I have to make a call.
Ray:Oh, no.You've gone off me, now, haven't you?Just because I hit that fucking cow.
ROOM
Ken:Hello?
Harry:Where the fuck were you yesterday?
Ken:We just popped out for some dinner, Harry.We only popped out for half an hour.
Harry:Yeah? What'd you have?
Ken:For dinner?
Harry:Yeah.
Ken:Pizza, at Pizza Hut.
Harry:Was it nice?
Ken:Yeah, it was all right. I don't know. It was Pizza Hut.The same as in England.
Harry:Well, that's globalization, isn't it? Is Ray there with you?
Ken:He's in the toilet.
Harry:Can he hear?
Ken:No.
Harry:What's he doing?
Ken:What do you mean?
Harry:Is he doing a wee or a poo?
Ken:I don't know, Harry, the door's closed.
Harry:Send him out on an errand for half an hour,but don't make it sound suspicious.
Ken:Ray? Why don't you go out down to the pub for half an hour?Yeah, yeah, I know I said you couldn't,but might as well enjoy ourselves, eh?No, I don't know if they've got bowling anywhere.Could have a look.Yeah, see you.Yeah. He's gone.
Harry:What'd you say to him?
Ken:I said, "Why don't you go have a drink,you say you've been cooped up?"
Harry:What did he say?
Ken:Said, yeah, he would.And he might go have a look to see if there's a bowling alley around.
Harry:Was he just having a wee?
Ken:Yeah, I think so. I assume so.
Harry:Sure he didn't mind?
Ken:No, he was glad to get out.
Harry:He's definitely gone?
Ken:Yeah, yeah, he slammed the door.
Harry:That don't mean he's gone. Go check outside the door.
Ken:Harry, he's definitely gone.
Harry:You realize there are no bowling alleys in Bruges?
Ken:I realize that, Harry. The boy wanted to have a look anyway.
Harry:What are they gonna have, a medieval fucking bowling alley?
Ken:As I say, I think he was just glad to get out and about.
Harry:So, is he having a nice time, seeing all the canals and that?I had a lovely time when I was there.All the canals and the old buildings and that.
Ken:When were you here?
Harry:When I was seven. Last happy holiday I fucking had.Have you been on a canal trip, yet? Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Have you been down, like, all the old cobbled streets and that?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:It's like a fairytale, isn't it, that place? Ken:Yeah.
Harry:With the churches and that. They're Gothic. Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Is it Gothic?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:So he's having a really nice time?
Ken:Well, I'm having a really nice time.I'm not sure if it's really his cup of tea.
Harry:What?
Ken:You know, I'm not sure if it's really his thing.
Harry:What do you mean, "It's not really his thing"?What's that supposed to mean, "It's not really his thing"?What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Ken:Nothing, Harry.
Harry:It's a fairytale fucking town, isn't it?How can a fairytale town not be somebody's fucking thing?How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches,all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff,how can that not be somebody's fucking thing, eh?
Ken:What I think I meant to say was...
Harry:Is the swan still there?
Ken:Yeah, the swan's...
Harry:How can fucking swans not fucking be somebody's fucking thing, eh?How can that be?
Ken:What I think I meant to say was,when he first arrived, he wasn't quite sure about it.You know, there's that big,dual carriageway when you get off the train?It mightn't have been here when you were here last, Harry.Well, as soon as he got into, like, the old town proper,and he saw the canals and the bridges and,you know, the swans and that,well, he just fucking loved it then.Couldn't get enough of it, the medieval part of town.It was just that initial, dual carriageway thing sort of put him off for a second.
Harry:Don't know if I remember a dual carriageway.Must be recent.Hasn't spoilt it, has it?
Ken:No, no, no, it's just that initial thing.And you know what?As we were walking through the streets,there was this sort of freezing fog hanging over everything,and it made it look almost like a fairytale or something.And he turned to me, do you know what he said?
Harry:What'd he say?
Ken:He said, "Ken, I know I'm awake,but I feel like I'm in a dream."
Harry:Yeah? He said that?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Meaning, like, in a good dream?
Ken:Yeah. Of course, like in a good dream.
Harry:Oh, good. I'm glad he likes it there.I'm glad we were able to give him something.
Something good and happy. Because he wasn't a bad kid, was he?
Ken:Huh?
Harry:He wasn't a bad kid, was he?Listen, take down this address. Raamstraat 17.That's "Raam," like "Ram," but with an extra "a."
Ken:Raamstraat 17.
Harry:You got that?
Ken:Yes, Raamstraat 17.
Harry:Good. There'll be a man there tomorrow morning at 9:00.His name's Yuri.
Ken:Yuri.
Harry:He'll give you the gun.Ring me on the public phone at Jimmy Driscoll's about 3:00 or 4:00 tomorrow, after it's done.
Ken:After what's done?
Harry:Are you being thick?
Ken:No.
Harry:Listen, I like Ray.He was a good bloke, but when it all comes down to it.You know, he blew the head off a little fucking kid.And you brought him in, Ken.So if the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?Ken?If the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?
Ken:It stops with me, Harry. That's an easy one.
Harry:Look, don't get shirty, Ken.Listen, I'm just glad that I was able to do something for the boy before he went.
Ken:Do what for the boy?
Harry:You know, have him get to see Bruges.I'd like to go to see Bruges again before I die.What was it he said again about... Yeah, "It's like a dream."
Ken:"I know I'm awake, but I feel like I'm in a dream."
Harry:Yeah.Give me a call when he's dead.
Eirik:That's my fucking girlfriend, you asshole.
Chloe:Eirik, what are you doing?
Eirik:Where are you from, fucker?
Ray:Ireland, originally.
Eirik:And you think it's okay to come over to Belgium and fuck another man's girl?
Ray:Look, I didn't know she had a boyfriend, all right?And I haven't fucked her, anyway. Ask her.I'd only put me hand on it.
Chloe:Eirik, put the gun down!
Eirik:Get down on your knees and open your mouth.
Ray:Don't start being silly.
Eirik:Get down on your...
Ray:Exactly at what point was it that all skinheads suddenly became poofs?Used to be, you were a skinhead,you just went around beating up Pakistani 12-year-olds.Now it seems a prerequisite to be a fucking bum-boy!
Ray:That's not gonna help you, man.
Chloe:Ray, there's only blanks in that gun.Eirik, don't!
Eirik:Now who's the fucking bum-boy?
Ray:You, you fucking bum-boy!Chloe, what exactly is going on here?
Eirik:I can't see! I can't see!
Ray:Of course you can't fucking see!I just shot a blank in your fucking eyes!Is this fella your boyfriend?
Eirik:No. I mean, he used to be.
Ray:Well, what's he doing here?
Chloe:We... We rob tourists, sometimes.
Ray:I fucking knew it was too good to be true!I knew you'd have never shagged me, normally.
Chloe:No! That's not true, I...I called it off tonight. I told him not to come tonight.Why did you come tonight?
Eirik:Chloe, I can't see, I swear it!
Ray:Stop whingeing like a big gay baby.I haven't had a shag in months!
Eirik:I can't see out of this eye, Chloe! I have to go to the hospital!
Chloe:I'll drive you.
Ray:Great! Now the whole night's ruined!
Chloe:No!You can stay if you want.I just don't know how long I'll be.
Ray:I just knew someone like you would never like someone like me.I just knew.
Chloe:What do you mean, someone like me?
Ray:You know, someone nice.
Chloe:Call me. Please.
Eirik:Chloe!
Ray:Cha-ching!
PUB
Ken:Have you got some sort of problem?
Bartender:No, no problem.Four beers in 20 minutes. No problem.
Ken:Fuck off.
Midget:Beer and a red wine.
Prostitute:I'll be back.
Ken:How's the movie going?
Midget:It's a jumped-up Eurotrash piece of rip-off fucking bullshit.
Ken:Like, in a bad way?Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Midget:She ain't my girlfriend.She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken:Didn't know there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Midget:You just have to look in the right places.Brothels are good.
Ken:Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Midget:Thank you.
Ken:You from the States?
Midget:Yeah.But don't hold it against me.
Ken:I'll try not to.Just try not to say anything too loud or crass.
Ray:Hey-ho. Drowning your sorrows, huh?
Ken:What sorrows?
Ray:You know, being a sad, old, ugly little man.One gay beer, please.
Ken:How'd your date go?
Ray:My date involved two instances of extreme violence.One instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing,which lasted all too briefly. Isn't that always the way?One instance of me stealing five grams of her very-high-quality cocaine,and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead.So, all in all, my evening pretty much balanced out fine.
Ken:You got five grams of coke?
Ray:I've got four grams on me and one gram in me,which is why me heart is going like the clappers,as if I'm about to have a heart attack.So if I collapse any minute now, please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.
Ken:Give us a gram, then.
Ray:I thought you were laying off, because it makes you depressed?
Ken:You know what? Right now, I don't really give a fuck.
Ray:Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?
Midget:I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today.I wasn't waving hello to anybody, except maybe to a horse.
Ray:Huh? What are you talking about?
Midget:Just horseshit.
Ray:You from America?
Midget:Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ray:Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it?Are you from America, too?
Prostitute:No, I'm from Amsterdam.
Ray:Amsterdam.Amsterdam is just a load of bloody prostitutes, isn't it?
Prostitute:Yes. That's why I came to Bruges.I thought I'd get a better price for my pussy here.
Ray:Huh?You two are weird.Would you like some cocaine?I've also got some acid and some ecstasy.
FIVE-STAR HOTEL
Ray:Herve Villechaize, I know, did.The dwarf off, I think, The Time Bandits, did.Lots of midgets...Dwarves, top themselves.Hmm. Shitloads.Would you ever think about it?
Midget:Huh?
Ray:Would you ever think about killing yourself because you're a midget?
Midget:Fuck, man! What kind of question is that?
Ray:We're just chatting, aren't we?See, Ken.this is the kind of hotel Harry should have put us in.A five-star, with prostitutes in.You know, sometimes, I think Harry doesn't even give a shit about us at all.Has he still not called?
Ken:No. Still hasn't called.
Ray:No news is good news, eh?
Ray:Who's she?
Midget:There's gonna be a war, man.I can see it.There's gonna be a war between the blacks
and between the whites.You ain't even gonna need a uniform no more.This ain't gonna be a war where you pick your side.Your side's already picked for you.
Ray:And I know whose side I'm fighting on.I'm fighting with the blacks.The whites are gonna get their heads kicked in!
Midget:You don't decide this shit, man.
Ray:Well, who are the half-castes gonna fight with?
Midget:The blacks, man. That's obvious.
Ray:But what about the Pakistanis?
Midget:The blacks.
Ray:What about...Think of a hard one.What about the Vietnamese?
Midget:The blacks!
Ray:Well, I'm definitely fighting with the blacks if they've got the Vietnamese.So, hang on.Would all of the white midgets in the world be fighting against all the black midgets in the world?
Midget:Yeah.
Ray:That would make a good film!
Midget:You don't know how much shit I've had to take off of black midgets, man.
Ray:That's...Undeniably true.
Ken:See, Jimmy,my wife was black.And I loved her very much.And in 1976, she was murdered by a white man. So...Where the fuck am I supposed to stand in all this blood and carnage?
Midget:Did they get the guy who did it?
Ken:A friend of mine got him.
Ray:Harry Waters got him.
Ken:So tell me, Jim,whose side do I fight on in this wonderful war?
Midget:I think you need to weigh up all your options and let your conscience decide, Ken.
Ken:Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.I think I'm heading home.
Ray:Yeah. I think I'll come with you.
Midget:What's...
Ray:Back off, shorty!
Midget:You don't know karate.
Ken:Don't say you didn't have it coming.
Ray:Don't say you didn't have it coming.Shortarse!
YURI'S HOME
Ken:Meeting Yuri.
Yuri:Yes, I'm Yuri.
Yuri:Mr. Waters said that might be necessary.There are a lot of alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.You use this word, "alcoves"?
Ken:"Alcoves"? Yes. Sometimes.
Yuri:There are not many people around in these alcoves in Christmastime.If I were to murder a man, I would murder him here.Are you sure this is the right word, "alcoves"?
Ken:"Alcoves," yes. It's kind of like "nooks and crannies."
Yuri:"Nooks and crannies," yes. Perhaps this would be more accurate."Nooks and crannies," rather than "alcoves." Yeah.
Yuri:You are going to do it, aren't you? Mr. Waters will be very disappointed...
Ken:Of course I'm going to fucking do it.It's what I do.
HOTLE
Marie:Your friend was behaving rather oddly this morning.
Ken:Oddly? How?
Marie:Well, he asked me about the baby,and if I wanted a boy or a girl.I said I didn't mind as long as it's healthy, of course.But then he gave me 200 euros to give to the baby.I refused, obviously, but he was quite insistent.Would you give it back to him when you see him?I don't want to appear ungrateful,but it seemed like all the money he had.
Ken:Do you know where he is now?
Marie:He said he was going to the park.
PARK
Ken:Sorry, Ray.
Ken:I'm sorry.
Ken:Ray, don't!
Ray:Fucking hell! Where the fuck did you come from?
Ken:I was behind the thing.What the fuck are you doing, Ray?
Ray:What the fuck are you doing?
Ken:Nothing.
Ray:Oh, my God!You were gonna kill me. Ken:No, I wasn't.You were gonna kill yourself! Ray:What?I'm allowed to.
Ken:No, you're not!
Ray:What?I'm not allowed to and you are? How's that fair?
Ken:Can we go somewhere and talk about this, please?
Ken:I wasn't gonna go through with it, Ray.
Ray:You fucking looked like you were gonna go fucking through with it.Where'd you get that gun?
Ken:A friend of Harry's.
Ray:Fuck, man.Let me see it.Silencer, too.Nice.Mine's a bloody girl's gun.
Ken:I'm keeping it.
Ray:Pardon me?Give me me gun back. Ken:You're not getting it back.You're a suicide case.
Ray:And you were trying to shoot me in the fucking head.
Ken:You're not getting that gun back.
Ray:A great day this has turned out to be.I'm suicidal, me mate tries to kill me,me gun gets nicked and we're still in fucking Bruges.
Ken:Listen, I'm gonna give you some money and put you on a train somewhere.
Ray:Back to England?
Ken:You can't go back to England, Ray. You'd be a dead man!
Ray:I want to be a dead man.Have you been missing something?
Ken:You don't want to be a dead man, Ray.
Ray:I killed a little boy!
Ken:Then save the next little boy.Just go away somewhere,get out of this business and try to do something good.You're not gonna help anybody dead.You're not gonna bring that boy back.But you might save the next one.
Ray:What am I gonna be, a doctor?You need exams.
Ken:Do anything, Ray. Do anything.
ROOM
(Dear Ken,I went to the park so she wouldn't have to clean it up.Ray)
Ray:What a wanker!
Ken:He said this whole trip,this whole being in Bruges thing,was just to give you one last, joyful memory before you died.
Ray:In Bruges?The Bahamas, maybe.Why fucking Bruges?
Ken:I suppose it's cheaper.
TRAIN STATION
Ray:The rest of the acid and the ecstasy.Can I have me gun back, please?What am I gonna do, Ken?What am I gonna do?
Ken:Just keep moving.Keep on moving.Try not to think about it.Learn a new language, maybe?
Ray:Sure, I can hardly do English.That's one thing I like about Europe, though.You don't have to learn any of their languages.
Ken:Just forget about home for a while.See how the land lies in six years, seven years.Seven years is not that long.
Ray:It's longer than that boy got.Me first fucking job.Great hitman I turned out to be.
Ken:Some people just aren't cut out for it, Ray.
Ray:Are you?
Ray:When are you going back to England?
Ken:I'll head back in a couple of hours or something.
Ray:Harry's not gonna be mad at you, is he? For letting me go?
Ken:I'll sort out Harry.
Ray:Just tell him I'll have probably killed meself in a fortnight, anyway.
Ken:You won't, will you, Ray?
Ken:Harry? It's Ken.Listen to this noise.Do you know what that is?Yeah, I know you know it's a train.Do you know what train?Well, it's a train that Ray just got on,and he's alive and he's well,and he doesn't know where he's going and neither do I.So if you need to do your worst, do your worst.You've got the address of the hotel. I'll be here waiting.Because I've got to quite like Bruges, now.It's like a fucking fairytale or something.
HARRY'S HOME
Harry's wife:Harry.
Harry's wife:Harry!
Harry:What?
Harry's wife:It's an inanimate fucking object.
Harry:You're an inanimate fucking object!
Harry:Now, you lot be good for your mummy and lmamoto, okay?'Cause Daddy's got to go away for a few days.
Harry's wife:Where are you going?
Harry:I've got to go to Bruges.
Harry's wife:Bruges? Where's that?
Harry:It's in Belgium.
Harry's wife:Why would anybody have to go to Belgium?
Harry:'Cause I've got to sort something out.
Harry's wife:Is it something to do with the phone?
Harry:It's something to do with Ken.It's a matter of honor.
Harry's wife:Well, it ain't gonna be dangerous, is it?
Harry:Well, of course it's gonna be dangerous if it's a matter of fucking honor!
Harry's wife:You are bringing the fellas with you?Tell me you're bringing the fellas with you.Harry.
Harry:I'm sorry for calling you an inanimate object.I was upset.
ON THE TRAIN
Police:You're Irish?
Ray:Yes.
Police:What is your name?
Ray:Derek Perlurrl.
Police:You hit the Canadian.You hit the Canadian.
Ray:I "heet" the Canadian?I don't know what you're talking about.
Canadian:That's him! That's the motherfucker.
Police:You hit the Canadian, yeah?
Ray:Canadian? Shit.
Police:We're taking you back to Bruges. Ray:Brilliant.
YURI'S HOME
Harry:Aye aye.
Yuri:Take your pick, Mr. Waters.
Harry:An Uzi?I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles.I didn't come here to shoot
20 black 10-year-olds in a fucking drive-by.
I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Yuri:I knew he wouldn't kill the guy.I could see it in his eyes when I was telling him about the alcoves.
Harry:About the what?
Yuri:The alcoves.The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.Oh, I also have some dumdums.You use this word, "dumdums"?The bullets that make the head explode?
Harry:Dumdums, yeah.
Yuri:Would you like some of these dumdums?
Harry:I know I shouldn't,but I will.
Eirik:Motherfucker.
Harry:Is he talking to me?
Yuri:No, Eirik's on your side, Mr. Waters.Your young friend blinded him last night.
Harry:Ray did?
Eirik:I was trying to rob him and he took my gun from me.And the gun was full of blanks,and he shot the blank into my eye.And now, I cannot see from this eye ever again,the doctors say.
Harry:Well, to be honest, it sounds like it was all your fault.
Eirik:What?
Harry:I mean, basically, if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks,and you allow your gun to be taken off you,and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank,for which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, then,yeah, really, it's all your fault for being such a poof.So why don't you stop whingeing and cheer the fuck up?
Yuri:Eirik, I really wouldn't respond.
Eirik:I thought you wanted the guy dead?
Harry:I do want the guy dead. I want him fucking crucified.But it don't change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind, little gay boy. Does it?Thanks for the gun, Yuri.
SQUARE
Harry:Well?
Ken:The boy is suicidal, Harry.He's a walking dead man.Keeps going on about Hell and purgatory...
Harry:When I phoned you yesterday, did I ask you,
"Ken, will you do me a favor and become Ray's psychiatrist, please?"No. What I think I asked you was,"Could you go blow his fucking head off for me?""He's suicidal"?I'm suicidal. You're suicidal. Everybody's fucking suicidal!We don't all keep going on about it!Has he killed himself yet?No. So he's not fucking suicidal, is he?
Ken:He put a loaded gun to his head this morning.I stopped him.
Harry:He... What?This gets fucking worse!
Ken:We were down in the park...
Harry:Let me get this right. You were down in the park?What's that got to do with fucking anything?Let me get this right.Not only have you refused to kill the boy,you've even stopped the boy from killing himself,which would have solved my problem,
which would have solved your problem,which sounds like it would've solved the boy's problem.
Ken:It wouldn't have solved his problem.
Harry:Ken, if I had killed a little kid, accidentally or otherwise,I wouldn't have thought twice.I'd have killed myself on the fucking spot.On the fucking spot.I'd have stuck the gun in me mouth on the fucking spot!
Ken:That's you, Harry.The boy has the capacity to change.The boy has the capacity to do something decent with his life.
Harry:Excuse me, Ken. I have the capacity to change.
Ken:Yeah, you do.You've the capacity to get fucking worse!
Harry:Yeah, now I'm getting down to it!
Ken:Harry, let's face it.And I'm not being funny, I mean no disrespect,but you're a cunt.You're a cunt now, you've always been a cunt.And the only thing that's gonna change is you're gonna become an even bigger cunt.Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry:Leave my kids fucking out of it.What have they done?You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken:I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry:Insulting my fucking kids! That's going overboard, mate!
Ken:I retracted it, didn't I?Still leaves you being a cunt.
Harry:Yeah, I fucking got that.
Harry:Where's Ray now?
Ken:Oh, right about now, Ray is in one or other of the one million towns in mainland Europe it's possible to be in, other than here.
POLICE OFFICE
Ray:I'll get all the money back to you soon as I get through to me friend.
Chloe:It's not a problem, Raymond.
Ray:And I'll get all your acid and your ecstasy back to you, too.
Chloe:English humor!
SQUARE
Harry:I'm assuming you've got your gun on you.
Ken:That Yuri bloke's a funny fella, isn't he?
Harry:He does yoga.
Ken:"The alcoves."
Harry:Was he going on to you about the alcoves?
Ken:"The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park." Harry, I know you gotta do what you gotta do.It's a bit crowded round here, you know?
Harry:Well, I'm not gonna have a shootout in the middle of a thousand fucking Belgians, am I?Not to mention the other nationalities,just on their holidays. Ken:Hmm.To see the swans and the Gothic and all the fairytale stuff, eh?
Harry:Are you trying to fucking wind me up?
Ken:No, Harry.
Harry:On top of calling me a cunt and calling me kids cunts.I might just have to fucking shoot you right here.Christ!
Ken:Let's go up the bell tower.Be quiet up there this time of evening.Let's go up there.
Ray:Yeah. Canadians.I feel a bit bad.They didn't kill John Lennon, did they?Anyway, supposed to turn up to court here in two days.
Chloe:Are you going to turn up?
Ray:Don't know.What have I got to stay for really?
Chloe:The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in all of your stupid life.
Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.
Ken:No way. It's supposed to be open till 7:00.
Clerk:The tower is usually open until 7:00.Yesterday an American had a heart attack up the tower.Today the tower is closed.
Harry:Here, cranky, here's 100 for you.We're only gonna be 20 minutes.
Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.Understand, Englishman?
Ray:Jimmy, I've been wanting to say I'm really sorry for karate-chopping you the other night.That was way out of order.
Midget:You know, Ray,I'd find it easier to believe and forgive you, somehow,if the two of you weren't laughing straight in my fucking face!It's for the goddamn movie, man.
Ken:It is a nice town, Harry.I'm glad I got to see it.I didn't mean to be taking the piss out of it being a fairytale place.It is a fairytale place.It really is.
Harry:Hmm.It's just a shame it's in Belgium, really.But then you figure if it wasn't in Belgium,if it was somewhere good,there'd be too many people coming to see it.It would spoil the whole thing.
Ken:Well, I'm glad I got to see it before I died.
Harry:What are you doing?What are you fucking doing?
Ken:I'm not fighting anymore, Harry.
Harry:All right, then I'm blowing your fucking head off.Don't come over all Gandhi. What are you fucking doing?Ken, stop messing about, please.Pick up your gun. I know I'm going to beat you anyway'cause you're a spaz, but...
Ken:Harry,I'm totally in your debt.The things that have gone between us in the past,I love you unreservedly for all that.
Harry:What?
Ken:For your integrity.For your honor.I love you.The boy had to be let go.The boy had to be given a chance.And if to do that, I had to say,"Fuck you, and fuck what I owe you,"and fuck everything that's gone on between us,"then that's what I had to do.But I'm not fighting you.And I accept, totally, everything you've got to do.I accept it. Totally.
Harry:Oh, yeah?
Ken:Yeah.
Harry:Well, you say all that fucking stuff,I can't fucking shoot you now, can I?
Ken:It's entirely up to you, Harry.It's entirely your call.All I'm saying is I'm not fighting.
Ken:Oh, you fucking cunt!
Harry:Look, I'm not gonna do nothing to you just 'cause you're standing about like Robert fucking Powell.
Ken:Like who?
Harry:Like Robert fucking Powell out of Jesus of fucking Nazareth!
Ken:My fucking leg!
Midget:The psycho dwarf turns out to just be a loveable little schoolboy,and it's all some kind of Boschian nightmare.Kiss my ass!
Ray:I guess at least there weren't any black people involved, eh, Jimmy?
Midget:I wasn't...I wasn't talking about...
Ray:There's gonna be a war between all the blacks and all the whites.And all the black midgets and all the white midgets,which would actually be really good.
Midget:That's just cocaine.
Ray:He didn't even want the Vietnamese on his side!
Midget:That's just cocaine.Listen, we're filming down by the pointy building tonight.It might actually be good for once.You guys should come along.
Chloe:We...I think we're just gonna have a quiet one tonight, Jimmy.
Midget:That's how it is!In another life.
Ray:They're great, aren't they?
You didn't. You didn't!
Eirik:Mr. Waters? Mr. Waters?
Harry:Who's that?
Eirik:It's Eirik.
Harry:The blind boy?
Eirik:Yeah.Yes.
Harry:What do you fucking want?
Eirik:The guy you're looking for,the guy Ray, he's downstairs at the bar.
Harry:I'm sorry, Ken.
Harry:But you can't kill a kid and expect to get away with it.
Harry:You just can't.
Harry:Where?
Eirik:To the left when you come out.The bar to the left.
Ray:Ken!
Ray:Ken! Ken!
Ken:Harry's here.
Ray:What?
Ken:Take my gun.
Ray:Ken?Where's my gun?Where's my gun?
Ken:I'm gonna die now, I think.
Ray:Oh, Ken!Jesus!
HOTEL
Ray:Put that gun away, right now!
Marie:Mr. Blakely said you had left.
Ray:I need the key to the room right now.Quickly, now!And you gotta go home right now.It's very, very dangerous here.All right? Go home! Right now!
Marie:Okay.
Marie:No, I won't let you up there!
Harry:Lady, get out of my fucking way, please.
Marie:No, I won't. I won't get out of your way.You'll have to go through me.
Harry:Well, obviously, I'm not gonna through you, am I,with a baby and that? I'm a nice person.But could you just get out of the fucking way, please?
Ray:Marie!Just let him come up, it's okay.Harry, swear not to start shooting until she's left the hotel.
Harry:I swear not to start shooting till she's left the hotel.I totally swear.
Marie:Well, I'm not going anywhere.This is my hotel.So you can fuck off!
Harry:I suppose you've got a gun up there? Ray:Yeah.
Harry:Then what are we gonna do? We can't stand here all night.
Marie:Why don't you both put your guns down and go home?
Harry:Don't be stupid. This is the shootout.
Ray:Harry, I've got an idea.
Harry:What?
Ray:My room faces onto the canal, right?I'm gonna go back to me room, jump into the canal,see if I can swim to the other side and escape.
Harry:Right.
Ray:If you go outside and round the corner,you can shoot at me from there and try and get me.That way, we leave this lady and her baby out of the whole, entire thing.
Harry:Do you completely promise to jump into the canal?I don't want to run out there, come back in 10 minutes and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.
Ray:I completely promise, Harry.I'm not gonna risk having another little kid die, am I?
Harry:So, hang on, I go outside,then I go which way, right or left?
Ray:You go right, don't you?You can see it from the doorway! It's a big fucking canal!
Harry:All right. Jesus! I've only just got here, haven't I?Okay. On a count of "one, two, three, go," okay?
Ray:Okay.
Ray:What? Who says it?
Harry:Oh, you say it.
Marie:You guys are crazy.
Ray:Are you ready?
Harry:Ready.
Ray:Set?
Harry:Set.
Ray:One, two, three, go!
ON THE CANAL
Ray:Keep driving!
Ray:No way. You're way too far away.
Ray:The little boy.
Harry:That's right, Ray.The little boy.
Harry:Oh.
Harry:I see.
Ray:No, Harry.
Ray:He's not...
Harry:You've got to stick to your principles.
There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened.And I thought, "If I survive all this,"I'll go to that house, apologize to the mother there,"and accept whatever punishment she chose for me."Prison, death, it didn't matter.Because at least in prison and at least in death, you know,I wouldn't be in fucking Bruges.But then, like a flash, it came to me, and I realized,"Fuck, man, maybe that's what Hell is."The entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges!"And I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.
END
http://www.douban.com/note/24344026/?post=ok#last
5 ) 將原則問題堅持到底
原則問題是一個很重要的問題，以致于重要到可以派生出一大堆的笑話。
例一：
發(fā)生在百度劍風傳奇吧。
那里有一個人，一直反對格里菲斯獻祭鷹之團的同伴換取帝國夢想。當他反對“一將功成萬骨枯”的正確性時候他說：鷹之團的同伴是有人權(quán)的，就算他們愚昧、懦弱、野蠻、螻蟻一般，他們的生存權(quán)在中世紀也應(yīng)該屬于他們自己，首領(lǐng)格里菲斯只是匪幫首領(lǐng)，并沒有權(quán)利安排別人的命運。
然后，他發(fā)現(xiàn)對手是個女性。于是為了打擊對手以及她的理論，他又說：女性的話總是感情用事，缺乏理性。這一點在某某權(quán)威性科學著作上已經(jīng)被證明了。
有人提醒他這話是性別歧視。
于是他說：歧視是永遠存在的。種族歧視、性別歧視是永遠存在的。因此，我利用歧視來打擊對手沒有什么不妥。
別人提醒他:歧視是侵犯人權(quán)的，是不公正的，是反理性的。如果你反對格里菲斯是因為他侵犯了鷹之團成員的生存權(quán)，那你怎能利用侵犯女性人權(quán)的性別歧視理論來維護你的人權(quán)不受侵犯理論呢？
他回答說：我不明白你這話是什么意思。你沒有理解我的意思。
……
例二：
發(fā)生在電影《In Bruges》
屬于少數(shù)族群的侏儒先生反對歧視中的歧視侏儒。他希望不受與他高度外貌不一樣的普通人的歧視。
但是，侏儒先生對有色人種有歧視。他敵視相對于多數(shù)族群（歐洲白人）有膚色差異的黑人侏儒以及越南正常人。在這以膚色差異為原則的敵視中，他可能認為自己終于與多數(shù)族群（歐洲白人）融為一體了。
他企圖利用另一種歧視原則消除自身被歧視的感覺。
屬于少數(shù)族群的侏儒先生不討厭歧視中的非理性、非客觀、非公正、非善意，他對理性、客觀、公正、善意也沒有興趣。他的興趣在于自身如何擺脫被歧視的“感覺”，為此，什么話都可以說，什么原則都可以采納。
例三：
雷說：我不打女人。
女的說：你打了她。
雷說：那女的想用瓶子打我我才打她的。我不打手無寸鐵的女人。你不會因為我打了她而又什么想法吧？
例四：
《動物農(nóng)場》里寫在墻壁上的《動物宣言》及其無限多個后來版本。
例五：
某國憲法及人民生存實況。
原則，到底是什么？
在此片中，它表現(xiàn)為亨利射向自己的子彈。
幾乎全部的人類偉大理想都在實踐與傳承的過程中被拖逸拉扯涂涂改改，最后面具可憎，難辨其本來模樣。
拖逸拉扯與涂改的原則是什么？拖逸拉扯者與涂改者是不是站在永遠不會被子彈擊中的安全地帶？
為了避免更多的笑話，這個問題很重要。
悲壯的亨利，偉大的亨利，不通人情的亨利。
死了。
通情達理的肯，重情重義的肯，同性戀少數(shù)族群的肯。
死了。
實用主義，出爾反爾，要死要活，善于開脫辯解的雷，
還活著。
活人們，怎么辦呢？
最后一個例子：
我有暴力的沖動。
我想砍殺那些大腦萎縮心靈霉蛀卻每天依舊行走說話跑出來的人。
我想砍斷他們的脖子，好讓他們不再說傻話。
我想敲爛他們的腦袋，好讓他們不工作的器官不再浪費能源。
我想挖出他們的心臟，他們不配享受它的跳動。
但是，問題是如果我真的按我的想法做了，我就必須堅守原則——以同樣的方式干掉我自己，因為這樣的我也是大腦萎縮心靈霉蛀的。
我又怕死。
所以上面那些可怕的事，永遠不可能發(fā)生，至少當我意識到自己要堅守原則的時候。
例一：
發(fā)生在百度劍風傳奇吧。
那里有一個人，一直反對格里菲斯獻祭鷹之團的同伴換取帝國夢想。當他反對“一將功成萬骨枯”的正確性時候他說：鷹之團的同伴是有人權(quán)的，就算他們愚昧、懦弱、野蠻、螻蟻一般，他們的生存權(quán)在中世紀也應(yīng)該屬于他們自己，首領(lǐng)格里菲斯只是匪幫首領(lǐng)，并沒有權(quán)利安排別人的命運。
然后，他發(fā)現(xiàn)對手是個女性。于是為了打擊對手以及她的理論，他又說：女性的話總是感情用事，缺乏理性。這一點在某某權(quán)威性科學著作上已經(jīng)被證明了。
有人提醒他這話是性別歧視。
于是他說：歧視是永遠存在的。種族歧視、性別歧視是永遠存在的。因此，我利用歧視來打擊對手沒有什么不妥。
別人提醒他:歧視是侵犯人權(quán)的，是不公正的，是反理性的。如果你反對格里菲斯是因為他侵犯了鷹之團成員的生存權(quán)，那你怎能利用侵犯女性人權(quán)的性別歧視理論來維護你的人權(quán)不受侵犯理論呢？
他回答說：我不明白你這話是什么意思。你沒有理解我的意思。
……
例二：
發(fā)生在電影《In Bruges》
屬于少數(shù)族群的侏儒先生反對歧視中的歧視侏儒。他希望不受與他高度外貌不一樣的普通人的歧視。
但是，侏儒先生對有色人種有歧視。他敵視相對于多數(shù)族群（歐洲白人）有膚色差異的黑人侏儒以及越南正常人。在這以膚色差異為原則的敵視中，他可能認為自己終于與多數(shù)族群（歐洲白人）融為一體了。
他企圖利用另一種歧視原則消除自身被歧視的感覺。
屬于少數(shù)族群的侏儒先生不討厭歧視中的非理性、非客觀、非公正、非善意，他對理性、客觀、公正、善意也沒有興趣。他的興趣在于自身如何擺脫被歧視的“感覺”，為此，什么話都可以說，什么原則都可以采納。
例三：
雷說：我不打女人。
女的說：你打了她。
雷說：那女的想用瓶子打我我才打她的。我不打手無寸鐵的女人。你不會因為我打了她而又什么想法吧？
例四：
《動物農(nóng)場》里寫在墻壁上的《動物宣言》及其無限多個后來版本。
例五：
某國憲法及人民生存實況。
原則，到底是什么？
在此片中，它表現(xiàn)為亨利射向自己的子彈。
幾乎全部的人類偉大理想都在實踐與傳承的過程中被拖逸拉扯涂涂改改，最后面具可憎，難辨其本來模樣。
拖逸拉扯與涂改的原則是什么？拖逸拉扯者與涂改者是不是站在永遠不會被子彈擊中的安全地帶？
為了避免更多的笑話，這個問題很重要。
悲壯的亨利，偉大的亨利，不通人情的亨利。
死了。
通情達理的肯，重情重義的肯，同性戀少數(shù)族群的肯。
死了。
實用主義，出爾反爾，要死要活，善于開脫辯解的雷，
還活著。
活人們，怎么辦呢？
最后一個例子：
我有暴力的沖動。
我想砍殺那些大腦萎縮心靈霉蛀卻每天依舊行走說話跑出來的人。
我想砍斷他們的脖子，好讓他們不再說傻話。
我想敲爛他們的腦袋，好讓他們不工作的器官不再浪費能源。
我想挖出他們的心臟，他們不配享受它的跳動。
但是，問題是如果我真的按我的想法做了，我就必須堅守原則——以同樣的方式干掉我自己，因為這樣的我也是大腦萎縮心靈霉蛀的。
我又怕死。
所以上面那些可怕的事，永遠不可能發(fā)生，至少當我意識到自己要堅守原則的時候。
6 ) 冰炭置我腸
出戲看過很久了，一直向人推薦說好說好。除了幾個英國來的人心領(lǐng)神會以外，別處好象都沉了大海。于是我決定很沒眼色地，痛說一說怎么個好法兒。順手推廣一下我頂喜歡的英國電影。
象所有其它的英國電影一樣，打虎親兄弟，上陣父子兵，電影里露的甭管大臉小臉，總是那些英國的臉。半部哈里波特都出現(xiàn)了：主角之一的老殺手是瘋眼漢 Brendan Gleeson，黑幫老板是伏地魔Ralph Fiennes，年輕殺手闖下大禍的project，被殺的神父是斯內(nèi)普Alan Rickman。
全世界的人都有偏見，或者說，叫stereotypes。英國人也不例外?？墒怯说膕tereotype編派得特別生動。白象一樣龐大的美國一家三口，極度環(huán)保的加拿大人，比利時旅游景點的售票員不可理喻的無禮，阿姆斯特丹出名的滿街都是妓女。老人熱愛中世紀藝術(shù)，年輕人只對美女感興趣。這些陳腐舊套如果放到好萊塢，也不過是多發(fā)一遍霉而已；在英國人手里就全都不同了。英國人不講扼殺創(chuàng)意的極度政治正確。一點都不奇怪：從維多利亞時代風氣幸存下來的文化，還有什么偽善沒見過，不敢嘲笑的？
喜劇片看得多，黑色幽默也看得多，但是象In Bruges這樣，一秒鐘讓人哭一秒鐘讓人笑的喜劇片還真的不多見。到電影漸漸進入緊張的時候，肝腸胃肺都擰到了一起。老殺手死去的一刻我真的馬上要哭出來，一分鐘以后黑幫老板詛咒一聲掏出地圖，我又要笑噴了。如是幾次三番，從開頭笑到最后?？墒菬艄饷髁磷叱鲭娪霸?，如果剛好有記者問我：你認為這是喜劇片嗎？我可能答不出，揉揉紅腫的眼睛。
很多美國電影為了抓人眼球，總是弄一個聳人聽聞的開頭，外星人都思不來的故事結(jié)構(gòu)，再在電影的后半部分匆匆把所有情節(jié)和人物從四面八方收攏來，生硬地用鋼絲擰在一起，讓人在電影結(jié)束時生出咒罵“How dare you..."的沖動。In Bruges完全不是。每個人都個性鮮明，從開頭到場結(jié)尾絲毫未變?；旌谏鐣膸讉€男人，開旅館的正懷著孕的老板娘，打心眼里討厭外國人外地人的售票員，陰柔有錢的比利時槍販子和他不爭氣混街頭的蠢兒子。然而寫電影的人把他們象七巧板一樣拼成一出縱橫來去的電影，處處用榫頭嚴密地銜接起來。比起來，好萊塢電影根本是沒揉開的，夾著生面疙瘩的面團。
我尤其喜歡的是劇中人的人格魅力。人格魅力不一定非是高大全人物才有，劉慧芳那就不能算人格魅力，那是“神格”，用現(xiàn)代網(wǎng)絡(luò)語言來講，恐怕要叫“雷格”。人格魅力就是，某個人身上那一點讓人心生感動或欣賞的東西，就是人有時候不會放棄的一點堅持、固執(zhí)或者寬容?，F(xiàn)在流行的是分斤撥兩世界觀，理直氣壯聲稱自己平生至愛是真金白銀，把一切都折算成現(xiàn)金現(xiàn)美金（最近風頭不好，可能要換現(xiàn)歐元），是相當時髦的人格。并不是我清高，而是人們普遍高估了經(jīng)濟砝碼在自己和他人心目中的重量，尤其是在大部分人的生活早已免于凍餓之苦的年代。中國古話說“有錢能使鬼推磨”，其實現(xiàn)實中錢甚至不能使活人不慪氣。年輕殺手誤傷男孩以后的懊悔，老殺手對年輕殺手的愛護，冷血且有情緒控制問題的黑幫老板的堅持原則，懷孕的女旅館老板的勇敢，都讓人覺得他們活生生的能隨時走近來。年輕殺手第一晚去和漂亮女孩約會，一?？圩咏忾_又系上，系上又解開，如是三番。老殺手看在肚里，又好笑又體諒。黑幫老板和老殺手決斗前在街頭酒館對酌，背后笑話賣槍的比利時人是在家里練瑜珈的。那輕松的朋友一刻稍縱即逝，然而沒了它就完全不能解釋后面的情節(jié)發(fā)展。
當然所有的英國電影里我百看不厭的是那些人都穿得那么齊整。他們的西服和大衣完美合身，不象美國人的褲子總垮著，肩膀總聳著，領(lǐng)子總張著。電影結(jié)束以后，我念念不忘的是旅店女老板美麗的奶油白色大衣和桃紅圍巾，想著自己什么時候也一定要買一件。
象所有其它的英國電影一樣，打虎親兄弟，上陣父子兵，電影里露的甭管大臉小臉，總是那些英國的臉。半部哈里波特都出現(xiàn)了：主角之一的老殺手是瘋眼漢 Brendan Gleeson，黑幫老板是伏地魔Ralph Fiennes，年輕殺手闖下大禍的project，被殺的神父是斯內(nèi)普Alan Rickman。
全世界的人都有偏見，或者說，叫stereotypes。英國人也不例外?？墒怯说膕tereotype編派得特別生動。白象一樣龐大的美國一家三口，極度環(huán)保的加拿大人，比利時旅游景點的售票員不可理喻的無禮，阿姆斯特丹出名的滿街都是妓女。老人熱愛中世紀藝術(shù)，年輕人只對美女感興趣。這些陳腐舊套如果放到好萊塢，也不過是多發(fā)一遍霉而已；在英國人手里就全都不同了。英國人不講扼殺創(chuàng)意的極度政治正確。一點都不奇怪：從維多利亞時代風氣幸存下來的文化，還有什么偽善沒見過，不敢嘲笑的？
喜劇片看得多，黑色幽默也看得多，但是象In Bruges這樣，一秒鐘讓人哭一秒鐘讓人笑的喜劇片還真的不多見。到電影漸漸進入緊張的時候，肝腸胃肺都擰到了一起。老殺手死去的一刻我真的馬上要哭出來，一分鐘以后黑幫老板詛咒一聲掏出地圖，我又要笑噴了。如是幾次三番，從開頭笑到最后?？墒菬艄饷髁磷叱鲭娪霸?，如果剛好有記者問我：你認為這是喜劇片嗎？我可能答不出，揉揉紅腫的眼睛。
很多美國電影為了抓人眼球，總是弄一個聳人聽聞的開頭，外星人都思不來的故事結(jié)構(gòu)，再在電影的后半部分匆匆把所有情節(jié)和人物從四面八方收攏來，生硬地用鋼絲擰在一起，讓人在電影結(jié)束時生出咒罵“How dare you..."的沖動。In Bruges完全不是。每個人都個性鮮明，從開頭到場結(jié)尾絲毫未變?；旌谏鐣膸讉€男人，開旅館的正懷著孕的老板娘，打心眼里討厭外國人外地人的售票員，陰柔有錢的比利時槍販子和他不爭氣混街頭的蠢兒子。然而寫電影的人把他們象七巧板一樣拼成一出縱橫來去的電影，處處用榫頭嚴密地銜接起來。比起來，好萊塢電影根本是沒揉開的，夾著生面疙瘩的面團。
我尤其喜歡的是劇中人的人格魅力。人格魅力不一定非是高大全人物才有，劉慧芳那就不能算人格魅力，那是“神格”，用現(xiàn)代網(wǎng)絡(luò)語言來講，恐怕要叫“雷格”。人格魅力就是，某個人身上那一點讓人心生感動或欣賞的東西，就是人有時候不會放棄的一點堅持、固執(zhí)或者寬容?，F(xiàn)在流行的是分斤撥兩世界觀，理直氣壯聲稱自己平生至愛是真金白銀，把一切都折算成現(xiàn)金現(xiàn)美金（最近風頭不好，可能要換現(xiàn)歐元），是相當時髦的人格。并不是我清高，而是人們普遍高估了經(jīng)濟砝碼在自己和他人心目中的重量，尤其是在大部分人的生活早已免于凍餓之苦的年代。中國古話說“有錢能使鬼推磨”，其實現(xiàn)實中錢甚至不能使活人不慪氣。年輕殺手誤傷男孩以后的懊悔，老殺手對年輕殺手的愛護，冷血且有情緒控制問題的黑幫老板的堅持原則，懷孕的女旅館老板的勇敢，都讓人覺得他們活生生的能隨時走近來。年輕殺手第一晚去和漂亮女孩約會，一?？圩咏忾_又系上，系上又解開，如是三番。老殺手看在肚里，又好笑又體諒。黑幫老板和老殺手決斗前在街頭酒館對酌，背后笑話賣槍的比利時人是在家里練瑜珈的。那輕松的朋友一刻稍縱即逝，然而沒了它就完全不能解釋后面的情節(jié)發(fā)展。
當然所有的英國電影里我百看不厭的是那些人都穿得那么齊整。他們的西服和大衣完美合身，不象美國人的褲子總垮著，肩膀總聳著，領(lǐng)子總張著。電影結(jié)束以后，我念念不忘的是旅店女老板美麗的奶油白色大衣和桃紅圍巾，想著自己什么時候也一定要買一件。
應(yīng)當是屬于杜琪峰的故事，很明顯靈感是來自槍火和放逐。片子不錯，但完全可以拍的更有味更好看，可惜柯林法瑞爾和他那些可有可無的戀愛戲給片子拖了后腿。
據(jù)悉，韓式半永久紋眉店將邀請科林法瑞爾做形象代言，科林法瑞爾當即表示愿把一半眉毛捐給拉爾夫費因斯用作植發(fā)。
主打黑色幽默的變格殺手片，儼然成為另一種次類型。殺手們不斷被拖離崗位，替換冷酷的是中年危機與救贖，從解決問題的人變成了問題所在。今次的三位殺手，讓導演兼編劇的McDonagh玩弄于一連串漫不經(jīng)心的巧合間，節(jié)約利用任何一個伏筆，炮制了最后一場徒勞悲情的虛無救贖。一個死的徒勞，什么都沒能阻止；一個死的諷刺，虛無的原則經(jīng)不起上帝開玩笑；一個死的遺憾，嗑藥涌起的自殺傾向沒能挽回他人生最后的三步錯棋：殺小孩、打食客、瞎劫匪，都是暴力惹得禍。Bruges原本只是幾個英國人的度假圣地，沒想到卻成了他們的永久天堂。
科林法瑞爾這個時候還沒長殘呢……費因斯演個黑幫老大結(jié)果被一個看門的戳額頭戳戳戳戳的笑死了
如此幽默的悲劇，如此悲傷的喜劇。新經(jīng)典。
笑不出來，只有感動。
科林法瑞爾的眉毛可以360°全旋！?。。。。。。。。。。。。。。?！
堅持看下去并且看完，你才會發(fā)現(xiàn)，這是多么優(yōu)秀的一部電影
“你有懷念過什么嗎？”哪怕是一座城市的美麗與寧靜——導演長片處女作，即用靜詣與慈懷殺死我們?！皻⒘藗€小男孩。那就拯救下一個小男孩吧，隨便去個什么地方，離開這一行，做點好事。人死不能復(fù)生，你不可能讓那孩子復(fù)活，但是你可以拯救下一個?！辈剪斎?，充滿著詭異離奇同時又有未知數(shù)的品質(zhì)。2008
囧囧有神
或許很多人會被類型分類所迷惑，但如果靜下心來看，會一點一點被它所吸引。那種靜謐氣氛下的黑色幽默難以言狀，荒誕而又始終保持著陰郁讓人感到憂傷。只能說，這些殺手都不太冷?！铩铩铩?/p>
1,柯林的表演有學習德尼羅的傾向；2，港化，無間團隊可以翻拍，or老杜的作坊也成；3，事關(guān)救贖、榮譽，色調(diào)和音樂都很出位
殺這樣的字，盯的久了會發(fā)現(xiàn)你不認識了；而一個殺手，當你認識了他，這個詞再不能描述他。這中譯名是有夠悲涼的。是部出乎意料的好片。
生活毀于哪里呢？毀于無效的天真和腐朽的世故。可竟然被這三個殺手身上的天真和世故打動，英國人的黑色幽默還真煽情。布魯日不適合度假，適合贖罪。
處女長片即彰顯劇本的功力不凡，雖有設(shè)計感，但被包裹在黑色喜劇走向的宿命論里，幾乎消失無痕；冷面熱心的仨殺手，依舊保持著道上人的職業(yè)操守與行業(yè)規(guī)矩，依舊葆有珍稀的兄弟情義，不無荒唐的行徑背后，是對涼薄命運發(fā)出的慘淡微笑，是掙扎在煉獄與地獄之間的卑微懇求。
太有味道的電影 配樂完美 好生孤獨啊！
說到底，是身為一個殺手的原則、和身為一個人的愛。
Hey guys, I wouldn’t go up there, it’s really narrow.
這么講信用的老板真是少見
照著電影走了一趟布魯日 http://www.douban.com/photos/album/20220680/